Love – a commodity?

A thought struck me and I wondered about it. I thought of love and the human search for it. All of us have a picture of it in our minds, how it should be, what the person should be like, look like, what they should do, what they shouldn’t do, what quantities they should have…
It’s like the world is a supermarket and we are looking for that item of our choice. We know what we want and either wait until we find it or some will try out products that come close to their requirements to see if it satisfies.
Sometimes the product has its own criteria of use and in such cases either you have to let go of the product or pretend to be able to fulfill the criteria.
However most people will not settle for anything but the product they want. But then there also are those which will just live with what they have because they can’t afford the other or it’s not available or the supermarket doesn’t have an exchange policy.
Yeah, Love is a commodity too.

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‘Dor’

I watched 'Dor' today. As always Nagesh Kukunoor has done a good job. The story of two women and their different lives in two corners of India and yet they are tied together by the strings of circumstance. An amazing insight into a woman’s life with its joys and challenges. Only a woman can want revenge for the pain caused and yet forgive with a pure heart.

And as always it set me thinking. I associated a lot with Zeenat; the self made woman, a rebel who follows her heart. She's fought for all she has and in the process become a force to reckon with. This isn’t just something about Zeenat every woman has this in her. Just that most women keep it behind closed doors of their minds and hearts.

A woman, every woman is powerful, loving, caring, kind, generous and yet someone you don't want to slight. It’s rightly said that women have immense capability and brilliance when it come to revenge. All this comes from the tolerance of a woman. She is the birth-given and in the process endures pain that would bring great heroes to their knees. But this is not the end of the pain; she has her crosses to bear for life, as a daughter, wife and mother. In each role she needs to give so much more then she will get. Even after she gives so much she put to the test every time, constantly asked to prove herself.

But there are women who break free, who have the courage to question society’s norms and the will to walk their own path. Those who have opened the doors of the mind and heart. Those who listen to their heart, walk the path of the heart and along the way touch so many lives, enriching and encouraging them.

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Striving for Permanence

A few days earlier I was chatting with a friend who asked me when I would return. I replied in good humour that I would return when I felt I was missed enough, to which he said that wouldn’t happen; what would happen though was that I would be forgotten and then remembered once in a while.

Today as I sat garnishing some dish in the kitchen my thoughts returned to that conversation. At that time I hadn’t given it much thought but now I saw the conversation in a new light. It struck me that nothing is permanent, everything is so transitory.

We as a race strive for permanence; its seen in our fixation with buildings, monuments, artifacts, recording of history, … , even the fact that we want to make it big in life, do something great only to be remembered. Yet we are here on earth only in transit maybe.

The world is like a transit lounge at an airport where while waiting for a flight you may notice people walk past, briefly remember expressions, bear in mind for a little longer that cute guy/gal, retain parts of a conversation you had with the person sitting next to you and maybe remember him/her. But all of this gets stored away to be recalled someday, when a thought is triggered but even then its just momentary. And just as everyone else is just a flash in our memory we may be the same in theirs.

No one will remember you forever or even all of their life, at some point you will be moved to the archive section of the mind. No one includes parents, siblings, children, spouse and best friends. Out of sight will soon be out of mind.

And yet we make every effort towards permanence not realizing that the future does not matter, what matters is this moment for it is all you have. Everything we do is aimed at a distant future. We take loans to build houses for a safe tomorrow, we saved all our money for a rainy tomorrow, we make huge investments for a bright tomorrow, send our kids to expensive schools for their classy tomorrow... In this race for tomorrow we seem to forget today. Tomorrow all these buildings may crumble, our libraries may rot, currencies and investments may disintegrate, we may perish but if we’ve lived each moment completely we would have lived life.

It does not matter who remembers me once am gone, it doesn’t even matter who remembers me while am here, for people come and go, that’s the way of life but what does matter is whether am satisfied with how I have lived my life. For in the end the only one who will remember me is me and that also maybe impermanent.

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Am now in Surat...

And here's a two pics a friend took in Leh...

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