Religion - a question ?

**** All opinions expressed are my own and no offence is meant to anyone. If you still wanna take offence, well good for you :) ****

Religion is a knife. If it sits on the table it is neither good nor bad. If I take it and cut bread for sandwiches it is good. If I stick it in your gut it is bad.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Was reading an interview with Desmond Tutu in the newspaper last week and it set me thinking. Religion is normally a subject I keep well away from however this time I think it deserves some thought.

I have often wondered why religion was created. For sure its something created by mankind. It wasn't present at the onset of creation. So then why was it created? Maybe it gave people back then some base like our laws today. They had something to go by in certain instances. Each religion was created for that time and is specific to that time. However they have hardly evolved from then to today. A lot of what we believe in as religion today was true only for then.

Well am a muslim by birth and so will just stick to it for examples. To start with Islam lets men have four wives. The reason for that back then were the wars. After the war there were a lot of widows and girls. The ratio of women to men was very high. That’s the reason for the allowance of four wives. It was to give these women homes, there were strict guidelines like loving each equally, treating each equally, providing equally etc. and only if you could satisfy these criteria could you marry multiple times. It makes sense if look at from that angle but does it make sense today?

Another is the purdha or burkha. The burkha came up at about the same time when women were being harassed. The idea was the safety of women, all women would look alike behind the veil and so a guy who wanted to tease or harass a women would not be sure who she is coz after all it could be his mother, sister or wife. Again makes sense back then, now look at today, fancy and flashy burkhas, they don't seem to make women merge in the crowd. They work the opposite completely and make the woman stand out, make sure she's noticed. Beats the idea completely, don’t you think?

Or let’s look at the system of Id-dath. Ok let me explain it. Id-dath is a custom that is followed in most sects of muslims. When the husband dies the wife has to sit in seclusion for up to three months. She may meet people, as long as they are women or men related to her in blood directly (father, brothers and sons). No one else may even get a glimpse of her. Now back to history. The reason for Id-dath largely was to ascertain who the father is just in case the woman was pregnant. Back then with no technology you had to wait a few months to know for sure you were pregnant and the only way to know who the father of the child was was to ask the mother. I have seen Id-dath practiced from up close and it’s a painful experience. Think of a woman, who has just lost her husband, can you imagine the pain she is going through. To add to this you put her in seclusion (back then people had time to visit but today no one has time and are busy in their own lives), have her wear only white, no TV, no entertainment, nothing to keep her mind off the ordeal she has gone through. Rather make her relive it countless times in those months.
Really Id-dath was a requirement back then but is it required today with our technology? Must a woman who has crossed menopause go through this? After all she can't get pregnant.

Ok what am trying to get at is that its time religions were reworked.

So going back to my original topic, Why religion? Does it really help? Does it serve a purpose?

Ok am gonna try an answer each of them. The first one I have tried to answer in the beginning of this post for now, the rest is beyond me for now.

Does it really help? Well it might, actually it would, if we see religion as it is, if it brings people together, if we let it evolve with time, if it holds meaning for now and not yesterday, if its something we make and not what makes us. There are a lot of ifs but they will make a better world.

Does it serve a purpose? It could you know, we are all different people and a lot of things make us different, our culture, climate, geography, lifestyle etc. But if you looked at the core of all religions the similarity would be stunning. And yet there are differences that we create.

I have a lot of friends from different religious back grounds and we still are good friends. There have been times that I have gone for a puja or to church and people around would have never guessed am muslim (well we don't have our religion written on our faces, we belong above all else to humankind, that’s creation the rest we created). Well am a muslim by birth and it ends there. I am a muslim by chance not choice. After all religion is a choice. I believe so.

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Bullet Odyssey

The bullet started in 3 kicks yesterday, forgot to close choke then and so she got rich and then didn't start once we reached the petrol pump. But thankfully wasn't embarassing coz even the pump guys had to kick quite a bit before she started. And I was proud of the fact that I recognised the problem. :)

But then she didn't start today morning again. Wonder if it was the cold. Tried choke and all except for the idling. 20 minutes of kicking and 3 suggestions from Mom on asking neighbour boy for help saw me take an auto to Pallavi's house.

However good fun was my Mom trying to kick start and I was like wait I'll tell u how, coz it kicks back and I was worried that she would get hurt but she was like I know let me try. Well didn't start.
Then Granny saw me holding the back rest while kicking so she thought its some kind of thing done to keep the bike stable so she went at the back and put full strength and said I'm holding now u kick.
Comet all this while was giving the bike funny looks coz the engine was not catching and only making half thump sounds and he was waiting for the exaust to start pulsing (he enjoys the rush of air, or maybe petrol fumes are his kick factor :D).
The ultimate though was my Granny saying she will try kicking. She stood on the kicker and put full force, kicker didn't move an inch.

Thats my morning adventure for u... Full pissed... will need to have a talk with Faakira today evening :) This behaviour is unacceptable.

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I Don't Belong...

Ever felt you don't belong... doesn't matter where, its just I don't belong...
Had gone home yesterday to spent that night at Mom's place. Felt so distant, as if am in some strange place. It didn't feel like home. It should have, after all its my Mom's place, the house I grew up in, so many memories and I was feeling so detached. Sleep eluded me the way it does in new places. Felt so out of place. Just wanted to go home.
But then where I live isn't home either. Its just a house I go to to sleep and rest.
This isn't the first time I felt this way, its happened before a lot of times just that I never thought about it.
The times I met someone and felt out of place, the times with friends I have questioned what the heck was I doing there. Innumerable instances of just feeling all alone in a crowd. When everything seems so distant or its just you being distanced from it all.
Like your a third person in the entire drama of things. A silence spectator while the play unfolds.
And am left with questions - who am I? where do I belong?
Do I even belong...

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Promiscuous v/s Slut

*** Strong opinions expressed here on. If your not the kind to tolerate opinions stop here, go no further. If not read on and enjoi... Any offence taken is your problem not mine ;) ***

The Hindu yesterday talked about virginity and pre-marital sex. The journalist wrote about the recent hype about it all when a celebrity spoke about it. A celebrity speaking about such topics is taboo but we common people can (a point made by the journalist) and so am gonna do just that.

Virginity - is not Dignity... It is just lack of Opportunity. :). We said this in college but in India is it true? India, a country where your virginity is meant only for that man you marry. There is so much stress laid on this. Girls while growing up are restricted from playing games considered rough, no stretching too much, no riding boy’s cycles etc all to protect the hymen. I've heard of castes and families where the bed is checked after the first night when you get married for traces of blood and if not found then there are dire consequences. Over heard boys discuss to end about how you would check if the women is a virgin.

Its scientifically proven that the hymen can break with out real physical exertion. It could be a fall or injury. Its also proven that the hymen breaking may not produce blood immediately or it may be so negligible that it wouldn't stain. Or the man just didn't manage to break it (didn't do a good job of it, I'd say :D). So what does all this mean?
Does it mean the woman is not a virgin?

What is virginity? Is it a state of purity (someone please define pure?)? Is it a gift you give that one man? Is it just a membrane? Is it a state of mind and body? Or is it something created by men to curb freedom of women?

Virginity belongs to women and if its yours then isn't it your right to decided what you wanna do about it. So its for me to decide whether to save it or give it away. Actually, its not something to give. Virginity is not then just the hymen. Its about your mind, the way you think, the way you feel. If your not a virgin does that mean your not a nice person?

And then follows the taboo topic of sex. Hmmm... physical needs are the same for men and women so then why can't a woman be sexually active? Why is a sexually active man called promiscuous? And a sexually active woman a slut?

To think about it women most often (leaving out exceptions) would have sex with a man they feel something for (and the feeling is not lust). To women sex is an intimate part of a relationship. Women would move into a sexually intimate mode at a later stage of a relationship. Women are unlikely to just sleep around. For men on the other hand the feeling most often is lust. To men the number of women they have 'had' (I personally feel slept with is a better word) is an achievement. They can't wait to lose their virginity and anyone (as long as she's of the female species) would do. The ones that follow the first are a learning experience. Soon they lose count too. And yet women are called sluts?

Ok, truthfully the above paragraph might have been a bit strong but I do feel passionately about it. Isn't it two-faced to sleep around yourself but expect to get married to a virgin ? Don't the rights apply equally to both sexes? Agreed that the risks are higher for women but then women know about protection too. So why should the fun be only for men?
Hmmm maybe that’s not my question... All I wanna know is why the difference between the way you view a man and a woman?

Maybe it’s about rights or respect, even self-respect... It’s about respecting others rights and choices. And finally respecting your own choices. Not sure, its something I’ve thought about for sometime and the answer is not satisfactory yet. Wonder what it actually is…

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Kannada Gottu Nimmage...

This is an argument I have had for sometime now with quite a few people. It’s about the situation not in one state but quite a few in India. People for a long time have asked me why after spending 25 years in Karnataka (Bangalore to be precise) I have not learnt Kannada completely. Yes I agree I haven't. Well am linguistically challenged and have been in an environment where people around me spoke languages that I spoke so there was never a need to learn another. When I reached college I learnt a bit of Kannada to survive in buses and autos. Yeah I have learnt more over time but can't speak proficiently yet.

People always said if you're a Kannadiga by place of birth then you should speak Kannada. Or, since you live in Bangalore then you must speak the language. Now the question I have had for ages - how many people speak Hindi in India (in each state respectively)? Do they realize they live in India and their respective state is a part of India and hence they should speak its language? If it is important to speak the state language, isn't it more important to speak the national language?

Everyday I speak to at least one person who speaks only Kannada, who never thought about learning Hindi. I struggle to explain myself to this person in the little of Kannada I know. In the end the result is that am not sure that person understood what I was trying to say. Am left hoping the outcome of our conversation will be the required result. How do you explain the minute issues you have with your bike or electronic goods in bits and pieces of Kannada? If you went to Tamil Naidu, they will refuse to understand you in another language. You must and should speak Tamil. It’s not about making an outsider comfortable but about making your own countryman and alien in his/her own country.

In Bangalore sometime years ago (and still on) there was a drive made by a certain group to convert all to Kannada. All hoardings had to be in Kannada, all shop names had to be in Kannada, it was an all Kannada drive. They finally relented but only to the point that you could also have English and other languages but Kannada was a must. You will still see some English hoardings and shop names etc. that are being vandalised by these pro-kannada activists.

Recently there was a drive to have more people watch Kanaka movies. Great idea I would say, so then what do you think you would do to achieve that? More advertisements or promote Kanaka movies. Ahh... but no this wasn't done. What did happen was all English and Hindi movies release was delayed by 3 or so weeks. This led to hardly any movies showing in these languages. All of this just to get people to promote Kannada.

Now this is not a phenomenon only in the South but across the country. In each state a different language is spoken and any other language is appreciated. Everyone seems to be in this mode (pride maybe a better word) that my language is better and to be protected. Are we not people of the same country, so what if there is a difference in language and culture? Why do we a lot of times first describe ourselves according to our state then our country.

Yes I agree that if you did look across the country there is not language that is common, including Hindi. English yes is quite common but that’s an international language. Do we not need a language that brings us all together? A language that is understood no matter where you go and no matter the language of the state. This would mean every Indian can communicate with the others with a barrier.

Hindi is our national language but also a language that already has its roots. It’s taught in most schools across the country as a second or third language. And if Hindi can link us all, if Hindi can be a link language, then why not? Why this barrier towards Hindi?

Why not open our minds to a unified language, the space and gaps reduce between people when we can communicate. Yes, it’s good to have diversity in people and languages but must we not be united too...

*** All views expressed belong only to ME and no offence is meant to anyone.

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Chains of responsibility

Life has some amazing twists. The chains of responsibility around the heart are so heavy... Somehow the hearts desires can't escape these.

Its your resposibility to pay for this, its your responsibility to be there for them, its your responsibilty to suceed (after all so much was invested in this), the house is your responsibility, the kitchen is your responsibility, the kids are your responsibility, fulfilling all their dreams are your resposibility...

Yeah but what of your dreams. Where did they all go in this? Do you not have a right to follow your heart. Why are you always tied down into a role cause its a requirement?

Oh, you could break it all and just leave. But it takes a lot to break those hearts. To watch them look at you acusing that all that happened is again your resposibility. Why can't they just let you be? Why always have you make these choices? What if they just didn't expect anything out of you?

How do you make the choice between your dreams and their dreams? And what would you chose? Its after all a choice between your heart and your family.

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Pay to Volunteer...

Have been looking up some organisations on the internet to do volunteer work with. Noticed something really funny. To do volunteer work you have to pay!!!

Seems so inhumane (for want of a better word) to ask someone to volunteer to help and pay for it also :) Maybe its because of the foreigners who come to help here in India and think they are doing a great job, well yeah they are, but its wrong to think that they are doing a great job just coz its in a so called Third World Country.

These are the people who pay to serve coz they can't help people in their own countries and wouldn't be able to even if they paid there. So they come here and these organisations make money out of them.

But then what happens to someone in India who may want to help and serve people. Why should they pay for this oppurtinity to help their fellow countrymen? Is it right to charge for these services? Is there now a price for humanitarian behaviour? Where are we going with this? Will this become our culture? What will happen to all we were taught as children, to help all the needy and all of that? Would we still help if we had to pay to help?

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Tests

Saw the doc and he asked me to take some tests. Gave the tests in on Thursday. The test results have come out and its all normal... yepieee...
The fever too seems better, didn't have any last night. :)

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Just...

Nothing much happening this week. Been sick since monday. Fever every evening and the fatigue is crazy. Will see the doc today... lets see what he says. This reminds me of the time I had jaundice. Just hoping its not that.

Did a ride over the weekend. Small day ride with RTMC. Pallavi was pillion. We had good fun. Went to AnataraGanga near Kolar. Some 160 odd km altogether. But Pallavi and I haven't been on a ride together in a long time so was good fun, she's after all my favourite pillion. She did get bored I think during the tech session. But super ride overall.

Body ache started after that... and fever set in too...
Hmmm kinda worried... can't get it off me head... lets see...

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Husband Required...

Ahhh... had one of my infamous adventures again last night. Just before going to sleep at 11:30 walked into the loo to find a cockroach sitting comfortably on the basin. Stared at it for a few seconds hoping looks could kill but then hit is more effective to went and brought it from the hall praying the roach would stay put and not run off. Stood right at the door ready to bolt and sprayed at it. Kept spraying in fits and bursts till the #$%^& died. Thought of leaving it there till morning but then who knows, what if its relatives found the body and decided to take revenge for the murder so went to get something to throw it out with. Made a stick out of newspaper to manuver the body onto the dustpan. In the process of manuvering realized there was one more in the process of dying. Almost dropped everything including #$%^&*'s body to get away but then stopped at the door and waited to collect second body too.

Shock hit once the bodys were disposed off, was already rubber knees, now breathlessness hit and a racing heart at F1 speed. Just sat down in curled tight postion with eyes everywhere and jumping at every sound. Finally got breath back after 5 min, I think. The breathlessness was new and it scared me no end. Actually thought would collapse and die. Sleep wasn't easy coming and constant search with eyes was on for some more. Finally slept fitfully with the light on.

Freak... was one of the worse until now. Think have to find someone (read husband) to stay with full time, if not for anything else atleast to kill these #$%^*&.

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Madras 4-6 Nov. 2005

Had gone to Chennai for the weekend. Oh and it was splendid. Stayed at a friends place... belted food... ahh Aunty makes nice food. Went out in between the rains. It had started raining the morning I landed. Was fun... Had met Shamz in the afternoon... a good three hours to listening to army camp stories... enjoyed every minute of it :) Also saw a scenic point at top of St. Thomas Mount. Gotta go back and take some snaps... good place. Went to Zara's for a couple of beers. Packed dinner at the beach and headed back home. Quite a bit of Chennai was still flooded and going through some of those roads made me queasy.

Saturday was stuck again due to rains but went out in the evening to do some shopping and had coffee at Coffee Day before heading back home for dinner. We then went to Flames. Well... not my kinda dance music for starters and the DJ actually started playing some good numbers only about 10:45 and they shut at 11:30 sharp. Just when u start to get in the groove. Timings don't need a change but DJ does for sure :) The crowd was ok... lots of place on the dance floor compared to Bangy where you're sure to rub against someone everytime you move. On the whole an ok place.

There was supposed to be a drag sunday morning that we thought we would go for but then it started raining about 3 in the morning and just kept up through the day. So was cooped up at home. Spent the afternoon staring out of the window willing the rain to stop. Had to go meet Shamz but thanx to the one above crying :D couldn't go :( Had a good time talking with friend and getting on his nerves am sure :D. Was to leave at night and didn't even have ticket thanks to holiday season. Then realized that most trains would be cancelled due to rain. Took a 10 meter walk in 2 feet water to the next door shop. Super fun it was, with only one umberalla and lots of water :) Am sure me friend got scolded nicely by his Mom on return for taking me out in the rain :D.

Called Ajay to check online what the status was on trains. Realized all trains were delayed and most importantly the rain wasn't stopping and Velachery was flooded on both sides hence no way out too. So decided to just stay put and leave in the morning. Found out about the trains in the morning. Woke at 5am and was ready to leave at 6:30. It was still raining off and on. So decided to take an auto. Auto guy said Rs. 150. Left Velachery but auto stopped inbetween on Mount Road, water I guess in the spark plug so took another auto... Finally paid Rs. 180 in total. Got to station at 6:45, ran in to stand in queue. Got ticket at 7 and by 7:05 was in train, as usual in the unreserved section :). Train left only at 7:30 so was already running late.

I stood at the door and refused to budge so the poor men had to stand inside with decent distance... fun it was. The door is best after all for view and breeze. Got talking to this man who was travelling with his teenage daughter I think. He spoke in a mixture of Kannada and Tamil. Just about managed to understand. He had stayed in Bangy a decade ago and wanted to know how much had changed. So we talked about his work, experience of Bangy and its people etc. He was telling me about how he couldn't read Kannada and hence a lot of times would land up on the wrong bus. All he knew was the time of the bus, so whichever bus came along he would get into and only realize its the wrong bus if the cunductor asked, else he would just buy the ticket and travel to and fro. Lots of times for timepass he would just buy a ticket to the last stop and just take a ride and see Bangy. He had stayed in Domlur and had seen Whitefield this way. He got down at Katpadi after giving me instructions to move in as lots of people would get down and I would get a seat. I said ok, how was I to explain to him that I liked the door. Katpadi came at 9:30.

After which I just stood right there, some guy who looked quite decent gestured that there was some place across the aisle to him. So went and sat on half a seat. Borrowed a magazine from a babe there and started reading about the Delhi Blasts. My butt didn't agree with half a seat so gave up and went back to the door. While I was there standing and reading one of the guys from the same cubicle came up and said he would get down at the next stop so I could sit down on his seat. So went and sat down there after sometime. Read a bit longer then started to feel sleepy so dozed off, waking up inbetween. The decent guy and another decent guy across the aisle worked for call centers and were discussing about it, so heard some bits of their conversation inbetween. First time I woke up they were discussing timings, second time night life (as in party scene), rest can't remember.

Was woken up a little later but this woman who wanted some space and I was like where is the space, every bit is occupied and just coz I look thin don't mean I can be fit anywhere at all. So slept of again, was starting to get bored and sleeping was the best time pass. Bored all because of friend wacking off my Bike magazine, so no reading material.

Ate all nonsense stuff on the way, two packets of boiled peanuts, some really oily vadas and some nasty coffee. Had terrible acidity and its still there after two days. Finally reached K R Puram at 1:30. Got off the train and went to auto stand only to find auto fellows asking Rs. 80 for 4 kms. Ahh... was in bad mood so took full chance and decently absused them. First one who said Rs. 80 was asked 'Ladoo batre kai?' to his confused reply of what do u mean, I replied 'Meter se nahi aana to aaga badho jiji...' Second was asked 'Diwali hai kya?' Anyway finally crossed to the other side of the flyover and got an auto. Reached home in 10 min with cost of only Rs. 23.

Quickly had a bath which took time as had to wash hair too due to train breeze. Left home on bike at 2:30 for office and was in at work at 3. Told all story of delay due to floods and in the evening at 9 cursed rain and weather fultu when fingers and toes froze on the way home.

Not to forget the two Tintins and one an half Three Investigators (read after ages) I read waiting at home Friday and Satuday for me friend to finsh work and get home.

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Diwali Week...

Well... Generally writing. This weeks been quite nice considering that there are only three working days.

Diwali was uneventful... just lit diyas but missed buying some silver on Danteras. Slept late on Monday so woke up Tuesday only at 1:30 in the afternoon. Good it was but landed up feeling lazy the whole day. Cooked rice for dinner and belted coz was so hungry after the fast. Today is the last day of fasting for me :) 7 days for 7...

Did a lot of painting and other stuff... feels so nice to get back to my creative side...

Getting used to the bike... and the body aches... and the RX was feeling so small and light today.

Slept late yesterday too and then had to wake up early to go to the parlour. Just got back in time to get the cab. Crazy ride back... the one off thing... full throttle and sqeeze in and out of traffic... what an adrenaline rush...

Rest is usual at work... but am off to Chennai tomorrow... fultu full weekend wonlee it will be... :)

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Musafir and Faakira...

Someone just asked me why Faakira... here's my explanation...

When I named Musafir... it was about an idea, a way of life, a philosophy... It was about what I am passionate about... travel in the true sense... not about kilometers but about experience, about places and people...

Faakira is on the same lines... about leading a life of a faakir, of belonging to no one and no where... of being detached... of always being on the move... a simple life...

Something like that... very intangible... tried putting it in words... but its just a feeling, a philosophy... hope it makes some sense... :)

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So where am I headed?

Finally brought Faakira home... Rode her back all alone. Had hick-ups on the way with idling and all but was an awesome feeling... Kept a steady speed of 40 as was wee bit (read as shit ;) ) scared. Jaws and muscles all stiff with tension.
The feeling was awesome... the beat, the feel of power still there just beyond, an itch to push just a bit more... phah looks like am going the speed way too... gonna hit the track soon at this pace.
Did just 13km from Sam's place to Mine but it was really something in the rush hour. And ofcourse thanks to Sam for tolerating me and helping out with figuring how she would start :)
Ok thats it for now. My shoulders and leg still hurting with all that kicking. Am back to dreaming.
But still what a joy it was to see her outside when I woke up, starting her and then actually sat and polished a bit and cleaned up Musafir too for good measure. :D

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Life is short

Life is short, don't waste time worrying about what people think of you.
Hold on to ones who care, in the end they will be the only ones there.

Time for an update... so thought would start with the above lines. Found them the other day. lately have been finding so very old stuff, surprising what you would find when you start looking through the past :).

Life is quite an amazing thing... wonder if you can ever win against it... just when you think its all under control, it throws up a surprise... Its just crazy, couldn't it have been just a bit smooth...

Well what else... kinda busy with work and some training and not to forget my exams... haven't even got time to get my bike work done... anyway have some leave coming up to next week will be riding Faakira (God willing)...

Thats it then for now :)

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Aimless Wanderer...

Just feeling a little low today and writing helps so will just rattle away I guess. None of all thats follow may make sense. Just wondering where I have come from and where am going. Ever read The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. Am just wondering about those roads today. Those options I had in life to walk different roads and I did take the road less travelled. It was fun and still is, but does it have to be filled with hardships, emotional rollercoasters. Couldn't the ordeals have been a little lighter.
Yeah I know I may have got a better deal then a lot of other people but that don't make my cross lighter.
I don't think I ever asked too much of life. Some happiness, a sprinkling of smiles, topped with love, packed in warmth. Just the usual. Actually somehow life always dealt the unexpected, learnt early that expectations lead to heart break, actually didn't learn. Still break my heart over small things.
But where am I headed from here... no idea... plans keep changing. Always thought I would settle down at some point, get married, have kids, do those typical things - set out days cloths for hubbly, tie the tie, wait for him to return, have chai ready, listen to him crib about work and boss... somehow all these little things felt so nice.
Dreamt of being pampered, loved to no end, little surprises, being swept of my feel with hugs and kisses, unexpected appearances, close dances, moonlit walks, movies together, silly hidden messages, secret whispers, saying it all and yet saying nothing, the joys of a new life, every whim fulfilled when the little ones on the way... So many dreams.
But the maybe am not that type. All of this is not for me. Am meant for other things. Its not for me to belong anywhere. I must leave and go on in body and mind, if for nothing else then to just answer that eternal question, Who and Why am I? Ever heard the closing lines of Mona Lisa Smile - "I've heard her called a quitter for leaving and aimless wanderer. But not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond traditions, beyond definition, beyond the image."

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Faakira Arrives...

Finally Faakira's here. Closed the deal on Friday and will get delivery today. Ah its been a long wait for her... Those days of dreaming and watching the old Bullet meri jaan ad. Back then dreams were more of the pillion type but then men failed me so now am the rider and dreams are the riding type :)

Can't wait to ride my beauty, all black and chrome... ok will stop or Musafir will get J and then will be tough life ;)

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Mythical Tree

Ahhh found an old piece this morning that I had written, brought up some memories, so here goes...

This can't be happening
not all over again
Have to stop pretending
that I can face it again
It's all just a mirage
a trick of the mind
The truth's its all gone
the caravan moved on
But the search is still on
for that mythical tree.

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This week in the life of Freya...

Just feel like writing... but then no idea as to what... ok let me tell u what I'hv been upto this week.

The weekend saw me being lazy, sleeping loads, lunch at Mom's, meeting some friends and sleeping some more. Ajay left Delhi to head back to Gandhidham... Hope he finds what he looking for, there...
Oh saw two movies too... Monster-in-law - sad it was, and A lot like love - pathetic, supposed to be the movie Hum Tum is based on but Hum Tum is too good and my Fav and this was... well, pathetic...

Monday - Sam got back from Ladhakh on Sunday and I spoke to him Monday morning. He was gone for almost a month. Hmmm he was missed :( Its good to have him back though he's lost some weight. Rest of Monday was the usual, woke up late, rushed head back, routine work with loads of audits. Went home had Monaco and Baked beans for dinner (yummy) and this time slept early as had to wake up early.

Tuesday - The usual. Alarm rang and I kept snoozing for 3 hours, woke up finally at 9. Just gave in to sleep. Was I guess a good Idea. Spent the day feeling guilty about sleeping extra and not studying. Had to make a presentation for the presentation workshop, so got to office and quickly got to work creating it. Did it on Bullets and Its History. Was super, hadn't known so much. Now am full Bullet History Pro... ;-) The guys at office were like 'as expected of u' but enjoyed the old bullet ad clip I ran and the presentation. Super stuff wonlee...
The rest normal, got home and actually slept.

Wednesday - Saw me wake up early after quite sometime. Up at 6:30 and went jogging. Hardly jogged, its been ages or atleast felt like it and my legs were killing me so returned in 15min with milk for coffee. Met newspaper boy too and made deal for paper delivery everyday. Made breakfast, had bath and sat down to study while eating. Read only one chapter but then what the heck... still was better than nothing. Off to office after that. Went to meet the boys after work at Opus... super fun it was to meet them all after quite some time. Met Samir and he didn't recognise me and Vodka (full in form) tells him in kanada hitting on me is of no use. Had a good laugh. So true it was after all :)Got back home about 11 and went off to bed.

Thursday - Thats today !!!! Woke up early, didn't go jogging and my newspaper boy turned up with man too and caught me in my skimpy nightwear so had to talk to him through crack in the door. Hope he understood all the instructions. Made breakfast, cursed my coffee filter as its too slow on the filteration, hence had to have instant coffee. Studied a chapter again but am feeling bit guilty as it was a very short one. Got to office early at 9:00 by bike, traffic was painful. Played at bit of games, now am sitting and typing this out... will stop this and go have Horlicks after which will do some work as am leaving office at 2pm. Have got pick up Sam then meet Muthu and see a Machismo for sale. Am fultu excited, its a good deal, if all goes well will sson be pround owner of Faakira... have waited long for her :) but then if u bring in the sautan first have to have loved the first enough to hold the peace ;-)

Ok am off now... Atta boy...

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Yelagiri - (not entirely as planned) 7-8 September 2005

Had been wanting to take sometime off for quite sometime, so finally took two days off just after Ganesh Chaturti and now having five days at hand decided to go to Yelagiri. Maybe should have gone somewhere further but then for a lot of reasons this was suitable. Made bookings there for four days at Hotel Woodside and decided to head out on Wednesday 7th September.

Odometer - 9446
Start time - 09-15am

Had thought of leaving early but then had a late night and just didn't wanna get up in the morning. Was woken up by Rupal, when she got home at about 7am. Then lazed about, finally had a bath and got ready. She headed to bed and I headed to the ATM to get some money and tankup.

Finally headed out at 9:15am after doing all of that and was wondering how the traffic scene would be at Koramangala and beyond, but thanks to the Festival and holiday I guess there wasn't much traffic. Got out of town quite quickly and moved on towards Hosur with a stop to fill oil (had completely forgotten about it during the week). It was drizzling or rather it was a constant drizzle, the weather forecast for the day on the radio had been drizzle through the day and rain in the afternoon. Its fun riding in the rain however its not nice being cold and well am not a cold weather person, I like the moderates. :-)

I stopped at Forest Dhaba where I have stopped everytime on this route for a coffee, they didn't have milk so settled for black tea. Feeling a little warm after that decided to headed out again, however just couldn't unlock the bike, all the levers seemed jammed. The Dhaba guys got some oil and after some cajoling the lock sprang. Before my babe would think of something else moved on and stopped next only once I reached the Yelagiri curves. Enjoyed the ride to Krishnagiri ad headed out to Vaniyambadi. Had been going really slow, I don't think I must have crossed 60-70. The route looked different as most of the work on this part of the highway was complete and at one point I started to think I was lost and asked for directions, only to be relieved when the guy pointed ahead and go straight.

Before I knew it I had reached Vaniyambadi and had to turn around and go back to take the turn to Yelagiri. Once on this road I just headed on, didn't feeling like stopping, had been hoping for a surprise but then did get one, only it was surprise that the surprise didn't come :-) Anyway headed out up the hills. Super curves I say, now those put mine to shame too ;-) Stopped at one of the curves to drink some water and gaze out at the beauty spread out below. The mountains covered in mist all around.

Started out again and at the top of the hill found that the hotel had sent one of the boys to give me directions. Followed him to the hotel which was quite a distance from where we stayed the last time. Reached there at about 2:15pm. Wasn't really in a mood for lunch so freshened up and went in search of a PCO to make some calls. Called home to let them know had reached and checked in.

Then went back and settled down to do some reading. Only to be disturbed at about 5 by the friend of the owner who was keeping an eye on the place. There didn't seem to be any electricity so checked and he said there was no electricity in the area due to rain - and that was just great, what more would I ask for. Ahh anyway he hadn't come to tell me that, what he had come for was to tell me the owner of this hotel had arrived and he wanted to meet me.

Anyway went to meet him and he was quite friendly. A criminal lawyer by profession I had quite a decent conversation with him about law and some cases he was handling, but that didn't last long coz he left to attend some wedding. Can't say the same about the other guy though, the above mentioned owners friend. He had chewed my brains enough when I got there and if that wasn't enough he started off again, from questions about how many chapters there were in the Koran to how concerned he was for my safety since I had come alone and was of the same religion. Phah had a good mind of letting him sample some of my fist and a piece of my mind on what I though of old fat nosy muslim uncles. Luckily for him I managed to escape back to my room.

Was quite hungry so when asked what I wanted for dinner chose the simplest hoping to get it the quickest, however even Sambar and Rice took a good two hours to arrive and finally when it did, it wasn't Sambar Rice but Parothas and Kushka. During this time another drama unfolded, cops turned up asking one hazar questions on why I was alone here, address, phone number, what everyone in my family was doing, identity cards and so on. How I wished I knew Tamil, just so I could tell him to take all his questions and put them up where the sun doesn't shine, but since I couldn't translate just tolerated him.

Finally he left and dinner arrived, was tired and sleepy for once so ate quickly and slept. But that was not the end, trust our Indian Police for Safety and Peace. He was back at 10:30pm (God does the man not own a watch - or can atleast our Govt. give him one), was so irritated to be woken up and that too just when I got to sleep early. Oh he did a through inspection to the room and bathroom, checked my driving license again, looked at my saddlebags, checked under pillows and mattress (do men hide there?), made note of my address and other details and asked questions again. This time though I didn't have the patience and all he got was Why you asking?...

He finally left grumbling about how he was only doing his duty and all this for my safety. Safely my foot, the B*****D had the audacity to come to my room at 10:30 and alone mind you with out this sub-inspector or what ever and he talks of my safety. Luckily he left just short of me asking him to get out.

Was really angry and as usual sleep evaded me till 12 or so. Woke up at 6:00am when the hotel boy came top enquire about tea or coffee. Had tea, a good wash and headed out. Wanted to avoid the fat fool so left for the lake early. Lake turned out of be a large puddle. Anyway sat in the garden beside it and read for sometime. Then suddenly decided to head back, called Mom and told her would be back in the afternoon.

Went back to the hotel packed and then went to tell the fat fool that I was leaving. Once all monetary settlements were made he insisted taking my address, he would come and meet me sometime he said or let me know if he found a nice boy for me. God if I ever see him again, he'll never leave the hills again.

The ride back was just super. Stopped on the curves again for quite sometime. Enjoyed the road downhill and the weather was good, wasn't too hot for quite sometime and I made good time. With about tow stops reached Bangalore in about 3 hours. Got home and demanded lunch first up.

Odometer - 9893
Arrived at - 3:00pm

Was a good ride however not a good trip. Didn't like the stay at Yelagiri, truthfully was a pain, this wasn't the first time I was travelling alone but this time the men I met managed to outdo the rest I have met by furlongs in being painful pricks.

But I did enjoy every bit of my ride, in the rain and in the sun too. The roads are just great and well I enjoy state highways much more than national so once off the NH7 it was just pure bliss. After all riding is like making love, its all about the curves and the straights ;-)

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Yelagiri... Write-up posted... Go check... ;->

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Me Gu Gu...

Was playing Bounce Out on the computer and listening to my Bro fight it out with his GF. Just got me thinking how easy it is to get upset or fight with the other. But then their true value is only known when apart. Then you realize how much you lost over something so trivial. They mean so much and when together you never realized it. And me I was telling my Bro, talk it out - don't let go, me - who didn't manage it myself, who failed miserably at it, telling him. He knows all of this so much more, he was the one who always gave me advise. He's the smart one... I know he will not let her go... no matter what it takes... :-)

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Guns N Roses - November Rain

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this auch a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head. Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine

So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame

So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

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Maybe a clue...

I guess they just give up living. They just don't wanna live anymore. You don't live if you don't want to. Thats the key... The want... Just stop wanting to live...

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Cluelessly lost...

The simplest things in life are the most complex. Thoughts, feelings that are so easy to decipher, so easy to understand, sometimes become so difficult sometimes. They leave you feeling lost in an ocean with no ship in sight. It feels like your drowning in the waves of life. Nothing is in your control anymore. you have no say in what will happen anymore. You are at the mercy of the tide just hoping that it will take you where you want to go.

Life feels so full sometimes and so empty at others. I wonder why we don't have simple lives. Why we can't do all we want, get all we want. Why does everything have to be so complex. So unworkable sometimes.

People just come and go, and you can't stop them. Everyone says its their time to leave but who decides that, the people who leave... and why do they decide to leave, why do they decide to go away from someones life. How did they manage that? How did they manage to just get up and go, no backward glance, no nothing. How was it so easy for them to break all ties... Do they feel no pull to the peple in their lives...

Had been waiting for Teena to type out some mails before we leave from work... No clue what I wrote and what it meant... Just wanted to write and went with the flow of my thoughts...

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Unreserved love…

Love, it’s a magical word, it’s a wonderful feeling, it feels romantic and mushy, it feels euphoric… some of those many things said about love, but I have always wondered, what is love? How do you define it? Is there a definition at all? Will I ever find a definition?

I haven’t found one yet but yeah have got quite a few chances of seeing Love work, each one unique, some about me and most about people around me. Each one has left me believing and searching with more vigour.

I was travelling over the weekend and considering it was travel my style it was in the unreserved compartment. Its amazing to meet people there, from across all stratas. There is so much to learn and they all seem so approachable. There is no class barrier here. Its just live and let live.

Anyway I was talking about love… I started out at about 11:45pm from Bangalore and it was about 1:00am that this couple boarded the train with a son about the age of 13. He had a fracture in his knee I think and was going to the hospital. They gave him a sheet, found him a seat and made him comfortable. The mother spread out a sheet on the ground, squeezed into the space in the alley and between the seats (you wouldn’t how what this is like if you haven’t travelled in the unreserved on an Indian train) and went to sleep. The father sat and chatted with the men for sometime.

He then lay down the little space she had left him. Was a tight squeeze but am sure he liked it. A was a delight to see him put his arm under his head and in the process gently nudge the wife, she just as naturally lifted her head and placed it on his arm Seemed like a daily ritual, so calmly done. She didn’t even bat an eyelid.

To me sitting and watching that was love. Maybe the labour class of our society, the drama unfolding in an unreserved compartment, oldish parents of a 13 year old and yet just plain simple love. All he was thinking of I guess was that she should be comfortable with whatever he would provide, she accepting that and being satisfied. Watched them for most of the night and his arm didn’t move. Positions changed but the lady had a cushion through the night.

Latest definition of love – Love is a cushion. ;-)

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The Fate of an Unconventional Woman...

Over the weekend I met a lady who most people would say is unconventional. We got talking and I did an impromptu interview. Short it was but it helped me get an insight into some aspects of her life.

What makes you unconventional?

Nothing really. Am just like any other woman, I feel joy, hurt, love, pain and all of those emotions. I have troubles and problems too. Unconventional is just a word that people created for want of another. Society has a certain picture of how a man or woman should be and if you step out of that picture – just don’t blend in – you’re called unconventional. Its just how you wanna live life – on society’s terms or your own.

What about love?

I’ve had my share of relationships. It’s a joy to have someone to run to, someone to take care of you, to hold you, to listen and share it all.
For an unconventional woman, men can be classified into two kinds – one thinks your great. They admire the fact that your different, that you dare to be that way. But your not wife material.
The other thinks you’re a challenge. A challenge to see if you’ll fit back into the picture. They either lose interest when you do or give up and move on.
But its never about you just being you.
I have a lot of friends who are men, but that’s it, no further.

What’s life like being single in your late twenties?

My life’s great even though its lonely sometimes.
A couple of years back my friends were still unmarried, we had lots of fun together. Today they’re married, they have lives of their own and hardly any time to do the things we once did. They’ve moved on, though we still keep in touch and I baby sit sometimes.
My life is now all about work and all the things I wanna do.
I go home to an empty house yet its home to me. Sometime back I thought of keeping pets but then gave up the idea, I’m and up and go person, I love to travel and pets are a commitment. I travel, go out, do what I feel like and don’t have to think of anyone else’s schedule. I like that, that’s freedom to be to me.
Yeah I feel lonely sometimes, I wish I had a family of my own too but that’s the price I’ve paid to live my life on my own terms.

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New Blog...

Have decided that there seem to be too many enteries on this blog so have decided to create another blog for all my write-ups. Going where the wind blows... will from here on be just about Me, Freya and The Musafir. All write-up's will be posted on

Musafir ki Kaahaniya...
http://faakira.blogspot.com/

Check it out...
Latest Musangudi Trip is put up there.

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To go or not to go...

Spent the last week deciding whether to go or not to go, was like that eternal question of - to be or not to be...

Ok now to tell you where is was to go or not to go. My team at work was going to Masinagudi for the weekend and I had an exam on Sunday. Spent the beginning of the week convincing myself that I wasn't missing anything and the exam was top priority. Then we started warming up for the weekend on Wednesday.

After half a bottle of beer and half an hour of convincing by Pallavi, priorities changed. Exam would come again in 3 months however team outing would not happen again for almost a year and even then some people may have moved on to other pastures.

So now it was decided that I was going to Masinagudi. The rest of the two days at work were spent listening to people letting me how let down they were. How I had no will power etc... All bullshit I say!!! Pardy anytime...

Thursday was Adrian's B'day Pardy and just before I entered the bar told my mother about going to the trip. What she had to say almost had me going back home but then priorities are priorities and so told her to sleep on the idea and I would do the same. We would then discuss it the next day.

After a lot of drinking ideas came and it was not as difficult as I thought to convince my mother.

Friday night saw me have some Glenfiddich and no sleep. Left home at 4:30am on Saturday.

The plan was to remain buzzed over the weekend. But don't know what happened :-(
Over the weekend just had two mugs of beer. Forget buzzed wasn't even high. But still had fun so what if I didn't drink enough :-(

If you wanna know all I did in Masinagudi... watch this space...

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L&D Team Outing 2-3 July 2005

2-3 July 2005
L&D Team Outing
Jungle Retreat - Masinagudi

Attendees-
Nagendra, Adith, Deepa, Pallavi, Raymond, Subroto, me, Sunita, Parvathi, Drusilla, Sudipta and Nisha (and Ethan).

Friday saw me reaching home at 8:30pm after finishing with things I had to do in town. Was tired but sleep evaded me so thought would have some scotch and watch a movie. Scotch led to hunger, so made some Maggi and sat down to eat.

Still no sleep however, now was feeling sick. Had a throbbing headache, the start of a migraine. Took a pill and sat down with the movie again. Only to run to the loo, as I had to throw-up. Finally after watching two movies slept at 2:30am to wake up at 3:30am.

Got picked up at 4:30am to go to re-group point at Symphony. Reached there feeling feverish with swollen face and puffy eyes. Had chai and a smoke and felt a little better. Subs had to go back to pick up the cameras as he had forgotten them at home.

We left at 6:30am as soon as Subs returned. Headed out towards Mysore via Kanakpura. Everyone making a lot of noise on the way. The girls started to sings tunes of old ads on TV. Picked up Nagendra at Banashankari. Stopped at S N Upahara for a breakfast of tutta idli and tea/coffee. Took some snaps there also saw this tail of a Malabar Squirrel hanging from the roof.

We headed out again with a lot of singing. Was still feeling sick so went to sleep on the last seat at the back of the bus. Slept for sometime and woke up feeling better. We stopped just after Mysore to pick up beer, was hungry again by then (had to make up for dinner you see). Had three bananas and some murkus.

We headed out again and not started to make goodtime in the bus as the roads were good. The beer was finished before we hit the check post. Must have had 3/4 of a pint. Saw some deer and black faced langur in Bandipur. Subs got some good shots of a deer who wasn't worried about the bus at all.

At the Tamil Nadu border the border police guy said we would have to pay Rs.500 extra to him so we went to the next check post some 10km away to pay there and then came back. Lost about 1/2 an hour there. Came back and took the Masinagudi turn. Reach Jungle Retreat at about 3pm.

We quickly went to our dorm to dump our bags and freshen up before lunch. Some beer and lunch later it was time to jump into the pool. We took off to change and get to the pool. By the time we girls got there the men were in already. Must have been in there for about 1/2 an hour (in which Pallavi almost drowned me) before the cold set in. Ear drums started hurting and we got out and sat watching all the other women play in the water.

Headed back from the pool about 5:30pm as we had a presentation at 6:30pm. The presentation started with an ingeniously made projector screen of towels. Nagendra, Adith, Pallavi, Ray and Subs took us through some presentations. Felicitation also happened for all the work done by the team. All this was wrapped up with champagne.

We all then headed for dinner. The first drink was on Deepa as she was new in the team. My only mug of beer on the trip. It was decided that Subs, Ray, Paro and me would go trekking in the morning so we headed back to the dorm to sleep.

Woke up at 5:45am to get ready for the trek. Was a little chilly in the morning. Saw Deer just outside out dorm. Had some biscuits and coffee and started out for the trail with Sidda our guide at 6:35am. First thing we saw as we looked to the mountains was a rainbow. Took some snaps and started out.

Sidda said there were elephants in the area so he was leading, with us stopping and following every now and then. We found a cottage and Sidda said we would wait on the roof for the elephants to pass by. Climbed up to the roof using bamboo, only to realize there was a ladder on the other side. Sidda went to check on the elephant. He came back to say this wasn't a good time to see it. It was a tusker and not behaving like an elephant at all. Was throwing mud on himself and howling like a dog. So we got down and started to skirt around the area to avoid it. All that happened was we stumbled into his herd. Got some snaps and realized that we couldn't continue this way so we had to go back the way we came and try another route. So back to the cottage we went.

At the cottage Sidda asked us to wait while he checked out the area. While waiting Paro and I moved away from the guys to take some snaps. From where we were we had a clear view of Sidda arguing with a family with two kids in their arms to go back because of the elephant only to be told by an elderly guy that he didn't know what he was talking about and he a landowner there knew what he was doing. He told Sidda to shut-up and mind his own business. Poor Sidda was trying to get him to see reason. Only to be told that a complaint will be made about him. Sidda was so upset about that for a long time. While all this was going on Paro and I saw an elephant come to check out what the noise was all about some bushes away from the group, then turn around and go back.

The guys and Sidda came to join us then; neither of them had seen the elephant. We decided to move away and go up into the mountains. It was about 8am then. On the way we saw elephant footprints (Subs arm from fingers to elbow fit into it) and the left overs of their meal.

Saw Sloth Bear droppings. Its black berry season so that’s what they eat the most right now. Most of the droppings comprised of seeds. Saw 3 Grey Horn Bills. Sidda said there are only 15 to be found in Madhumalai forest. Three sounded like a great number.

Soon reached a height from where we could see the Kerala and Karnataka border. Could see Bandipur, Wyanad and Madhumalai distinctly. With a lot of huffing and puffing, lots of thoughts of quitting I finally reached the top. Sidda was the only one who didn't feel the climb followed by Ray. Subs was out of breath due to his wheezing and so was I for other reasons. Midway realized I was quite fit even after smoking for 5 years now.

We sat at the top for sometime listening to Sidda's stories about some of his treks. I was busy lensing the landscape and my unaware companions. We left to return at about 10am.

On the way back we saw a Barking Deer that took off before I could focus my camera. Saw Black faced langur, a Malabar Squirrel and bright yellow and orange birds. Was focusing on the orange bird but somehow managed to get the yellow. By the time I had clicked they interchanged places.

Took snaps of where we had been on the way back as we climbed down. Seemed quite a height once we reached the resort. On the way down also saw a stream filled with bright yellow mangoes. What a color that was.

We reached the resort at 11am with Subs tripping over a barbed wire nearby.

Quickly grabbed breakfast as we were really hungry. Had two omlettes, an idli, 2 vadas, a toast with black berry jam and washed it all down with coffee.

Next destination was the pool again as it was nice and warm. Changed and got there before the guys this time. Stayed in the pool till about 12:30pm. Its a joy to just float around feeling the weightlessness and gazing at the mountains and the sky. Played a bit and had races with Pallavi. Watched over Ray and Pals. Swam a couple of laps too.

Headed back to the dorm to bathe and change. We then headed back for lunch. I took off though to take some snaps before that. Walked around taking snaps till I got to the pool. There used to be a tree house the last time we were there. Was in bad shape now but the thought of an aerial view of the pool got me (a person with a phobia of edges and ledges) up there. Got some good shots while precariously kneeling on bamboo that creaked with the wind.

Headed back for lunch and a fresh lime juice. We left Jungle Retreat at about 3pm. Everyone was tired and soon all were asleep. I decided to sleep once we crossed Bandipur as we might get to see more animals. So Paro and I sat on the lookout. It did pay off; we saw Black Faced langur, two Peahens, a Tamed tusker and a baby elephant with her mother near the lodge.

Smsed a friend who was going for an interview to wish luck as soon as we had coverage. After which Paro and I must have slept for about twenty minutes before we hit a bump that had us flying thrice into the air. That was the end of sleep for me. The rest of the bus woke up too. The rest of the return trip was spent singing and laughing. We stopped at Channaputna for coffee.

Reached Bangalore at about 9pm. We all headed back home. Subs and I took an auto. reached home to find Rupal finally given in to hunger. Freshened up and sat to eat too, after which all that mattered was sleep.

A good trip though my only complaint was didn't drink enough... 2 mugs... just 2 mugs of beer. Why you may ask... had planned to remain buzzed but too many things happened before I got there and some people were worried about me drinking too much. So didn't dink... :-(

But thats ok, enjoyed the everything else... from pool to trek, food to songs... simply super...

The snaps...

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2124237300&code=16981209&mode=invite&DCMP=isc-email-AlbumInvite

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My Favourites for this Season...

Seasons In The Sun

Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we've climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there

We had joy, we had fun
we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed
Were just seasons out of time

Goodbye Papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along
Goodbye Papa it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them, I'll be there

We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone
We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone

Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground
Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there


I Will Always Love You

If I should stay,
I would only be in your way.
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
You, my darling you. Hmm.

Bittersweet memories
that is all I'm taking with me.
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.
We both know I'm not what you, you need.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I, I will always love you.

You, darling, I love you.
Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you.


Unbreak My Heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Un-do this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart, my heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Ohh, oh
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
(rpt Chorus except last line)

Un-break my
Un-break my heart, oh baby
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on


Back For Good

I guess now it's time for me to give up
I feel it's time
Got a picture of you beside me
Got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup
Got a fist of pure emotion
Got a head of shattered dreams
Gotta leave it, gotta leave it all behind now

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

Unaware but underlined I figured out this story
It wasn't good
But in the corner of my mind I celebrated glory
But that was not to be
In the twist of separation you excelled at being free
Can't you find a little room inside for me

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

And we'll be together, this time is forever
We'll be fighting and forever we will be
So complete in our love
We will never be uncovered again

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it
I just want you back for good
Whenever I'm wrong just tell me the song and I'll sing it
You'll be right and understood

I guess now it's time, that you came back for good

Read More

Just ranting...

Its funny (not sure if funny is the right word, but it'll do for want of a better word), how the smallest of things can bring back a rush of memories. How when you think the hurt is gone it'll all come back. Its like it all happened just yesterday and it hurts just so much.

Had just sat down for a couple of minutes after getting ready this morning, waiting for the cab to pick me up. My CD player isn't working so switched to radio city and they played one of my favourite songs from Silsila - Yeh kaha aagaya hum. Heard it? Its one hell of a song but has so many memories attached to it. Just listening to it brought back tears but then wasn't able to just get up and switch it off. Finally managed that when it was over but then its left me with thoughts for the day.

Thoughts of whose fault it all was, why me, what did I do to deserve this, maybe it was for the best but the reoccuring question why me???

Got into the cab and pulled out my book to read. Reading - thats my haven from life. Am reading The Dragon Reborn - Robert Jordan, its a part of a series and something like Lord of the Rings. Anyway my next clue for the day lay there. And was then wondering how sometimes answers lie in the absurdest of places. You find them where u least expect to find them. Wonder if they will make sense to anyone else but they did to me...
"Just because fate has chosen something for you instead of you choosing it for yourself doesn't mean it has to be bad. Even if it's something you are sure you would never have chosen in a hundred years. Better ten days of love than years of regretting."
They may mean nothing to anyone else but to me drowning then in my sea of misery it was a strand of straw. Saved or no, for now that is all I have.

I just life was a little easier on people. But somehow experience is what shapes your life, sometimes it hardens and builds walls. And then people wonder how you got to be so distanced, so hard, so uninvolved. I feel like telling them, hey you didn't go through that I did, these walls help, they keep people out and hurt out too.

Ok enough of my ranting away. Am gonna stop here and get back to work. Coz thats a great way to keep busy.

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Just writing...

A friend messaged yesterday to say why no updates on your blog so thought would just add a few lines so that its not too much of a gap between two updates ;-)

Life's been a roller coaster lately. Too many up and downs to even remember. Came back from my Coorg ride in Jan and the riding season was over as it was too hot. March saw me with back pain. It just kept getting worse till I went to a Doc and he said its muscle injury. He gave medcines and reccomended physio. Then in May went to this quack who solved it all in a couple of minutes and I was as good as new. Went on a short ride to Kanakpura to test my back and felt great as there was no pain. Riding was not over for me. But that was not the end. Next thing to follow was viral fever that lasted a week and a half.

Finally got over that and am still recovering. The appetite is still not back. Feel hungry but then when I see food its gone. Have lots of weight and now am just eating to put on some weight and stay alive I guess.

Life's taken a turn for the worse right now maybe it will get better sometime soon. Its like being pulled under water and struggling to get back to the top for air. Its a feeling of being closed in and losing it all. But wether all is lose yet or no is something to wait and see. Maybe, just maybe its still not lost.

Still have a little bit of the fight left in me, just have to find it. Am searching and hoping that will be soon...

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SeaBiscuit

Last night while surfing through channels on TV I chanced upon SeaBiscuit. Its a movie about a horse. Though would watch for sometime and then go to sleep but landed up watching it right to the end. It brought back so many memories. The story was about SeaBiscuit a horse, and how he changed peoples lives. How even though he is small and unlikely to win, he wins. It wasn't really the storyline but everything else in the movie. The people, the horses, the places.

It all brought back memories of my childhood. I grew up in the racecourse. Riding horses, feeding them, talking to them. Summer holidays were special coz I would wake up at 6 and go with Papji to the racecourse to watch the horses workout. Get petted and pampered by the other trainers, jockeys and all the others there. Have breakfast in the canteen there with all the grown-ups and listen to them talk horses. All the other holidays we got were special too. In Dassera we would go to Mysore and in summer it was Ooty, the rest of the year was Madras. All these places we could go for the races. Bet on horses for small amounts of money, run around, meet people and horses, it was an amazing time. I loved these places coz the race course was off grounds for me in Bangalore and I wanted to spend as much time as possible in the race course. The smell of horses, the sound of their hooves, the hustle and bustle. I dreamt of growing up to be a jockey when I was a child. Maybe coz I idolized my Dad and wanted to be just like him. Maybe coz the racecourse was home to me and I wanted to be there.

SeaBiscuit also brought back memories of my Dad, how can it not, the racecourse and my Dad are associated together for me. I look up to him so much, always wanted to be like him. His son was what I wanted to be. Wished all my life that I was a boy then I could be just like my Dad. But that wasn't necessary I still am just like him, stubborn, very ethical, always using the right path, innocent, going out my way to help people and all. And if this was not enough, am a trainer too just like my Dad - he trained horses, I train people. Always wanted to be in the saddle, so now I ride - not horses but bikes. Well yeah I am my Papaji's son, just like he said.

I miss him alot too. There is so much I will never be able to do with him. People seem to take their parents for granted most of the time but its only when their not there that you feel the importance. I will not be given in marriage by my Dad. He's not there to run back to and say I can't handle this, help me. My kids will never know what its like to have a Nanu (Granddad) like I did. I miss sitting at his feet and just feeling secure. There is so much that goes with parents, I remember him everytime I see kids with their Dads or someone talks about their father. Just wish people would value them while they are there. Tell them how much they mean while they are still alive. I don't miss an oppurtinity now to tell my Mom how much I love her. There is nothing in the world more beauitful then the look on her face then.

Life does not stop coz someones gone. My Papaji knows how much I love him today. I tell him often.

Ok have drifted away from the topic quite alot, not unusual for me. What I started out to write about was my childhood, racecourses and horses. And how the movie SeaBiscuit made me see some of my troubles in life in better light. They don't seem so big now. They can be sorted and its never too late to do something. Just that you don't give up, listen to your heart and do it the right way. Thats all that matters, coz only that will lead to satisfaction and happiness.

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Just like that...

Just feeling so low today. Writing helps me with feeling better so thought would just write. Most of what will follow will not make sense. Wonder if its even worth reading.

Somehow seems like am lost in this melee of life. Just so lost. Have a job that people would call good, but would I say the same? To me work is something I enjoy and am happy with but lately am not happy. Its no more about the work but the money and that to me is not satisfying. Somehow feel empty. I used to love what I did so why the sudden change? Or is it sudden? What is it that leaves me unhappy about what am doing? Should I look for something else that I enjoy? Something am happy doing? These and many more questions are plagueing my mind.

I used to love my work. I guess back then I was recognised for it too. Somewhere along the way I have just become another worker and no more someone who makes a difference. I do my work as and when am told to but its all not inspiring anymore. Have worked here for 3+ years now and am quite senior in experience but I don't figure anywhere in core discussions or decisions. People who have far less experience do that now. Yeah it maybe a bit of ego but is that all it is? Yeah I know that some of it is my fault but is it always about the way you are or does even how you work count. Does your being good at what you do count? I guess its just that I feel left out and lonely or is it just that?

Another job is a possiblility but then is it so easy to move? Will I be happy there and for how long? How do I choose what I want? What about money? There is so much that goes into it.

Am wondering if am even leading a life worth living. Feel as if I have done all I wanted to and now its time to leave. There is nothing am looking forward to. Sometimes I wish there was someone I could completely lean on, rely on. Just be able to say I don't wanna work anymore so am gonna sit at home. But thats not possible. It just feels so lonely sometimes. Ever felt lonely in a crowd of people you know? Thats the feeling. Feel so lost and alone.

Ok enough of this rambling of a crazy mind... or is it crazy?

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To Papaji...

Those times we've spent together
Those thoughts we've shared
Those days when your hand's touch
made me feel cared for.
Those moments when your
just being there beside me
protected me from all harm.
Those times when you'd helped me
stand up when I fell
cleaned my bruised knees,
Encouraged me to try again
saying you'll always be there,
You wiped my tears and
held me warm and tight.
Made me so dependent on you
that now, its so difficult to
go through each day without you
Why did you leave?
Why did you go?
And if you had to go
Why did you touch my life?
Why did you affect me so much?
Why did you go when I needed you the most?
You know, I really miss YOU.

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You and I...

We've walked together for many a mile,
Agreed they were not full of smiles,
But you stood by me through it all,
Picked me up after each fall.

We've seen blue skies,
And springs galore,
Days full of laughter,
And brimming with joy.

Lets not forget those storms
Coz they brought us closer,
We lived through it all,
But most importantly we survived together.

You've been there for me,
No matter what it took,
Always the rock,
That I could lean on.

Your the one,
The kind of person I want to be,
Your my better half -
My Best Friend.

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An Interview With God...

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up,
and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”

"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons
you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.

"Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”

-author unknown

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Near and Far...

I love you so much My Beloved
But you may never know
For you are near me
And yet so far
You are here beside me
But between us lie the seven seas
And I wonder if I,
If I will ever reach you
Will I be able to build a bridge
Oh so long, so fast
Will you be there when I,
When I reach the other end
But where ever you may go
Listen well so you may know
There may be seven seas between us
But there is the same,
The same starry blanket up above.

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You're the one...

You stepped out of my dreams
And into my life
You are the perfect one
The one made for me
You have shown me
A world I never knew existed
You've taken me to heights
I've never reached before
You've opened my eyes
To a life so full of wonder
You've given me joy
I've never known before
You've filled my world
With happiness and laughter
You're the reason
I run out of words
Everytime I want
To say how I feel
Yeah, you're the one
The perfect one for me.

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Love...

Love is like magic
And it always will be.
For love still remains
Life's sweet mystery!!

Love works in ways
That are wondrous and strange
And there's nothing in life
That love cannot change!!

Love can transform
The most commonplace
Into beauty and splendor
And sweetness and grace.

Love is unselfish,
Understanding and kind,
For it sees with its heart
And not with its mind!!

Love is the answer
That everyone seeks...
Love is the language,
That every heart speaks.

Love can't be bought,
It is priceless and free,
Love, like pure magic,
Is life's sweet mystery!!

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A Journey of Firsts...

It all started as a germ of an idea way back in June-July 2004, when some of my friends started to plan for Leh in August. It was something I really wanted to do but then I knew that I was not ready to do Leh yet so then started thinking what else… It came to me one day that I haven't met my relatives for sometime now so why not ride and meet them too. And so came the ride plan to Surat. Had thought of doing it in October as by then all preparations would be complete and also I went ahead and applied for leave. While all this was going on I got to know about the 60kph Kutch ride and it seemed destined for me to do, after all I was planning to ride to Gujarat. So then I reworked the dates and plan, and then reapplied for leave. Then started full scale preparations. Running in my bike, buying stuff that would be required like saddlebags and all. Work was hectic too as a new regulation was gonna be enforced and I was over seeing that. Then 3days before I was to leave Ambar had an accident and in the Ambar Rescue Mission my bike was hit by another car that skid on the same oil patch. Was worried about having it up and running on time but thanx to friends and mechanic it all happened on time. Ride plan changed to include Coorg and ride with friends for 2 days. And then finally the day came and it was 24th Dec. Had just picked up the bike, hadn't even started packing, only my list was ready. Finally all was complete and ready at 10:30pm. My uncle then came to check and makesure all was fine. Had bath and went to sleep dreaming of the road.

The Route Taken

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Sending 17

Day 1 : 25th Dec. 2004 : Saturday
Odometer: 2385
Falls & Drops: 1/1
Start & End Time: 7:10am – 9:00pm
From & To: Bangalore – Kushalnagar (Coorg)

Woke up to Shamsher's voice and my brother’s knock on the door. Got ready, loaded up bike and left home at 6:30am. Was to meet my friends at Aromas of China. Left brother and cousin there and headed out towards Kanakpura with Subs, Bansi, Small, Abhi, Archana and Rachna. Had a fall enroute, had skid on some sand but all was fine with me and Musafir. Just after Kanakpura Abhi's clutch cable broke and so we stopped a bit out of Kanakpura under a tree while he got it fixed.

Finally started out at 11:30am and stopped at Mysore for Lunch at Dasprakash. Then started out again but Abhi's bullet was having problems. I wasn't riding fast and Abhi's bullet was in running in so it was fine. We were supposed to reach Mercara that day. Abhi’s bike was giving problems and at Hunsur we asking one mechanic who said it could be the points but we were not satisfied so searched for another mechanic. The other directed us to a bullet mechanic. When we found the place we realized he was catholic and it was Christmas. While we were checking all this, a guy came up to us on the main road and said it would be best if we left within 10 min as there were communal riots and he was concerned as there were three women in our group. We left quickly but even the next day we heard rumors of riots in Mangalore. This turned out to be just that – rumors. Before I knew what was happening it got dark and I was still riding. My first longride with all this luggage and to top it all now riding at night too. Was riding between Abhi and Bansi. Was absolutely scary, couldn't see complete curves and that made cornering difficult, to add to that the bus drivers were absolutely mad. Almost got hit by a bus that suddenly decided to over take even though he saw 3 bikes coming from the opposite direction. Reached Kushalnagar at 9:00pm and found that the bullet mechanic had left but he came back just to fix Abhi's bike and then she sounded like a bullet. Didn't wanna do the ghats to Mercara at night and was shaken enough with night riding so Bansi and Rachnawent in search of a place to stay for the night. Raghu and Prathiba arrived by bus. Subs and Small also arrived after their bar hopping expedition. With everything booked in Coorg for the weekend we landed up in the Tibetan Monastery for the night posing as research students. Slept after 12:00 midnight really tired but couldn't forget the road to the monastery in the moonlight, how it felt lying on it gazing at the night sky and dreamt of it.

Day 2 : 26th Dec. 2004 : Sunday
Odometer: 2639
Falls & Drops: 0/1
Start & End Time: 10:30am – 7:00pm
From & To: Kushalnagar (Coorg) - Mangalore

Saw the Golden Temple first thing in the morning and then had breakfast. Said our goodbyes to Subs, Small, Raghu and Prathiba as they were headed back to Bangalore. Then the rest of us took off towards Mercara, then Puttur and finally Mangalore. Stopped on the way at Rachna’s and Archana's friends house and ate oranges. The ghats were absolute madness. It was difficult handling the bike on the curves and I guess my lack of riding experience didn't help much. Finally the ghats ended. This was my first experience of ghats. Stopped just out of Puttur for lunch and had Coni Roti and Chicken Curry. Also got complete update from Shamsher on the Earthquake, Tsunami and Koshy.Continued riding towards Mangalore with a heavy heart. Landed up riding in the dark again and so decided to stop at Mangalore for the night. Found a hotel and just crashed.

Day 3 : 27th Dec. 2004 : Monday
Odometer: 2819
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 7:00am – 7:00pm
From & To: Mangalore - Mapusa (Goa)

Said goodbye to my friends in the morning and headed out to Goa. They were gonna be stopping overnight at Merwanthe and Gokarna and I had to get to Goa. Started out on the NH17 looking forward to the coastal stretch. About 130 kms out of Mangalore the road ran along the beach for about 3 kms. Superb is all I can say. A blue sea and white sand on one side and coconut trees on the other. Was disappointed that it was only 3 kms. About 20km after that started to feel sleepy so on the first ghat where there was a lovely curve I stopped and slept for an hour on the concrete block. Woke up refreshed and started out again. Somewhere enroute saw a road marker saying 630km to Mumbai. Was quite surprised and so at the next stop I checked my Lonely Planet and it said 540kmfrom Goa to Mumbai. Thought that that would be quite some distance to cover in a day so decided not to stop at Margao as planned and push on till Kaplan. But then got stuck in Panjim traffic and managed to reach only Mapusa before dark. Was quite tired so thought would stop for the night here and head out early in the morning. Found a couple of hotels but all quoting above Rs. 1000 for a night. Then saw a board of Youth hostel and went to enquire there. They said they were packed and didn't have space. After a lot of pleading and cutting a sorryfigure they managed to adjust and give me a bed with a family that was also staying there. Unloaded the bike and then went to have dinner.Came back really pooped and just slept. Knew had to leave really early as had 500 odd kms to cover the next day.

Race the Sun

Day 4 : 28th Dec. 2004 : Tuesday
Odometer: 3210
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 6:30am – 10:45pm
From & To: Mapusa (Goa) – Byculla (Mumbai)

Woke up at 5:45am and was ready to leave at 6:30am. Was still dark when I started out. Left behind a quite puzzled caretaker at the Youth Hostel. I guess he couldn't understand why someone would only stay a night in Goa and want to wake up so early there too. Rode in the cold and stopped after Sawantwadi for tea. The tea was out of this world. Super taste and warmth. The lady who ran the place realized that I needed to relieve myself and so directed me towards some shrubbery. When I got back she tried questioning me in Marathi. With my limited knowledge of the language all I caught was a word that sounded like 'Lagna' which I knew meant marriage so assumed she was asking if I was married. Saidno I wasn't, to which she replied and that sounded as if she was asking if I was riding to get married. Quite surprised I said no was going to Mumbai. At this point she realized that I hadn't understood and so with gestures asked me again, turned out she was asking if I had been successful in relieving myself. After 2 hot glasses of tea that just cost me 4 bucks I started out again. The ghats had started and I was looking forward to them ending as they brought my speed down and had a huge distance to cover. Took very few breaks through out. Must have taken about 5 in the whole day.

At one point while over taking a truck on the ghats had a close call as I misjudged the truck and jeep speed and the truck driver didn’t slow. Half way through I just knew that the only way out was in front and just about made it. Left me quite shaken and a good lesson learnt about overtaking on ghats.

Later on again on the ghats got carried away by the view as I came around a bend and next thing I knew I could feel mud below the wheel. A quick check brought me back on the road.Reached Chiplun at about 3:45pm and asked a guy walking past where I could get some water. He pointed to a house. Went there and realized it was a school. Asked for water and the kids filled up my bottles with little pots. Lovely cold water, drank some and had a wash too. My next stop was by a lake which I just couldn't resist so took a break and some snaps. Had about 60kms more to reach Panvel when it got dark. Contemplated next course of action and figured it didn't make sense to stay anywhere here and best course of action was to head to Panvel. So did the last ghat in the last light of the sun and continued to Panvel at a slow pace. Found a small paggio thingy after about 30kms and stuck behind it for the rest of the way. Reached Panvel at 8:30 pm. Asked a traffic policeman fordirections. His first question was 'Ladka hai ya Ladki?' Said Ladki to which he then wanted to know where I was coming from and when I told him Bangalore he was shocked for a couple of moments. He then gave me directions and I moved on. Stopped at the next PCO and called my uncle who gave me directions to Byculla. Kept checking with taxi guys to make sure I was on the right road. The first taxi guy said it was about 20km away. The second said about 20 min away. The third said after 3 flyovers and the fourth added 2 more to them. Finally reached Byculla at 10:30pm after covering 46kms.The NH17 was completely mind blowing and I promised myself that the next time I did it I would take at least 5 days to cover it. Each bend had a view that was a photographers dream. Had felt so bad that I couldn't stop everywhere. Most of my family had gone for a wedding so there wasn't anything to eat at home but bread and eggs so my cousin took pity on me and took me out to eat pizza. Was dying of hunger as had had only the two glasses of tea in the whole day. Was too occupied with getting to Mumbai to feel hungry the entire way. Ordered a 12 inch pizza but was too tired to chew more then one slice. So got the rest packed and headed back home. Family had got back and we sat catching up on my ride till Mumbai. My uncle then suggested going out for a drive and everyone was so excited I didn't have the heart to say no. So off we went to Marine drive and then a search for something to eat or drink.Finally found a juice joint open and drank juice. Got to bed finallyat 3:00am. Just slept.

Closing Odometer : 3756

Day 5 : 29th Dec. 2004 : Wednesday

Woke up early at about 8:00am as the whole house started to wake up. Haddecided to spend a day in Mumbai. Spent sometime with Mom who had come from Surat for the wedding. Visited some relatives and by evening was pooped so just went to sleep at 7:30pm.

Snaps of Sending 17...

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Day 6 : 30th Dec. 2004 : Thursday
Odometer: 3772
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 9:15am – 8:30pm
From & To: Byculla (Mumbai) - Surat

Woke up at 7:30am to find that Mom and Aunt had left the last night for Surat. So quickly got ready, had a good breakfast , loaded bike and headed out to Surat after all goodbyes had been said.Took me about an hour and a half to reach the highway with my uncle and aunt escorting me till Phoenix Mills. Had passed ‘Saath Raste’ from where my uncle said you could go to any part of India depending on the road taken. Was sleepy again on reaching the highway so parked the bike again by the side of the road and took a nap. Woke up 45 mins later and headed out again. Messaged Mandeep that I was headed to Surat but didn't get a reply. Took a break before Valsad and while I was standing there a police man came along and did one complete interrogation session. He had some hazaar questions to ask. Who's bike? Where you going? Who is in Surat? You traveling alone? Where have you come from? He finally was satisfied and left. Passed him sometime later and waved out. Reached Valsad at about 3:30pm and thought would give Mandeep a call and check anyway.He asked me to make my way to Satnam Dhaba and he would meet me there.Sat talking to Mandeep over tea and completely lost track of time. Had learnt to tell the time by the sun over the last couple of days but this day was cloudy and so when I looked at my watch was surprised to see it was 5pm already. Mandeep suggested the Dungri road as the highway between Valsad and Surat was under construction. He came along till Dungri and then I was again on my own with dusk soon approaching. Headed on to Navsari. Kept getting lost in the little towns and had to ask directions for the next town. Finally at Sachin spotted a bus thatwas headed for Surat and just followed it. Reached Surat and asked directions to my Aunts house on Ghod-dod road. Reached home at 8:30pm to be welcomed by a much elated mother.

Closing Odometer : 4032

Day 7 : 31st Dec. 2004 : Friday
Day 8 : 1st Jan. 2005 : Saturday
Day 9 : 2nd Jan. 2005 : Sunday

Mandeep had told me that he would be meeting up with the guys coming from the south and going to Saputara and Dangs. Really wanted to go but then Mom had not seen me for a month and she was returning only a month later so decided to stay back and spend some time with her.Stayed in Surat. Slept at 10:30pm on 31st funda being if I slept more over new years would get to sleep more in the rest of the year. So if this funda works then the whole year of 2005 would be spent on holiday, riding , eating and sleeping. Oh and ate a lot while in Surat. Khaman, Undhio, Gol guppas and loads of other stuff. So spent 3 days in Surat doing absolutely nothing but eating and sleeping. What a holiday… Absolute bliss…

Snaps of Bombay and Surat

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Day 10 : 3rd Jan. 2005 : Monday
Odometer: 4032
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 10:30am – 5:15pm
From & To: Surat – Ahmedabad

Thanx to my eating spree on 2nd Jan started the Loo Odyssey. This led to my starting out late on 3rd in the morning. Kept reaching the door only to head back to the other end of the house. Finally made it out of the door at 10:30pm and headed to Kamrej Chowkadi towards Ahmedabad. This ride was quite uneventful except for the guards not letting me onto the expressway which broke my heart.Anuj kept messaging asking where I had reached. Was to ride in with Sanjeev and Druv but could not catch up with them and they moved on.Finally reached Ahmedabad at 5:15pm. Met Anuj 10 km before the city and followed him to Gaurav's Apartment. Had been wondering how I would recognize Anuj but it was so so simple. Was quite excited about meeting the rest of the guys from 60kph. Met quite a few as I walked in and it took me quite sometime to get a hang of all the names. Well I am bad with names but I never forget a face. As soon as I got in Nicky and Meeta asked me if I wanted to come shopping. I went along to buy some bandhani stuff. If any of my friends back home hear about this they would have a good laugh. Freya and this kind of shopping. Just sat and watched them chose fabrics, they all seemed same to me except for colors and patterns. I can completely understand the lost feeling men have when they accompany women shopping. Didn't buy anything myself, didn't understand it and after all I don't wear these things much. Own some 3 salwars, one for weddings, one for funerals and one just in case I have to wear one to work.Headed back, had a wash and freshened up. Then went to Amols Workshop.Once back from there met Ajay. Gaurav when I met him before going to the workshop had told me I could take my bike to the Rann. Was quite apprehensive about it. I love Musafir and I had a long ride back didn't want anything happening to her and riding in the sand for so long, well wasn't very sure especially after my skid on the first day. So spoke to Ajay to find out about the terrain and what hethought about taking the bike. Ajay inspected Musafir and asked some questions. Then just told me it was up to me. Some help he had given. Spoke to Gaurav later and he said it was up to me, just don't regret not taking her later. Then thought of it all and said what the heck, if she made it here what's stopping her from doing this too. So Musafir and me would not part. Later we discussed the plan for the next couple of days. After this I spoke to Shamsher as there would be no coverage for the next couple of days, messaged mom, had dinner, a bathand headed of to sleep. Of course tried the Telephone Special Beedi recommended by Archana. Nice it was.When I was planning the route had got information for Ajay on it and at that time he had told me I would see lots of dead dogs in Gujarat and if I got lucky a dead cow too. Finally landed up seeing loads of dead dogs and I completely lost count of how many. But I also saw quite a few dead birds, a dead cat, a dead snake and a dead cow. What a day!!!

Kutch Calling…

Day 11 : 4th Jan. 2005 : Tuesday
Odometer: 4324
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 10:30am – 5:45pm
From & To: Ahmedabad - Tikar

Woke up in the morning at about 8am. Meeta told me about how I was talking at night in my sleep and well all I said was I had warned you. Freshened up and had breakfast. Then started loading the bike. My cramster saddlebags were to go in the backup truck as I thought it would help if I had less weight to manage in the sand.All packed we moved to Amols Workshop and then moved on towards Halvad. Did some straight stretches with crosswinds and was trying to keep up with the rest so was raising to 80-90 only to feel the rear swing out. Quite scary I will tell you. So had to wait for some stretches with no crosswinds and then catch up with the rest. The tail guys must have a lot of patience.If this was not enough came across some absolutely bad roads. On one stretch it was just stones and I had to keep telling myself don't brake, no matter what you do don't brake. Made it to the other side with out falling but my heart didn't stop pounding for the next 5 min.When we stopped to tank up Vinod checked the wheel alignment and toldme it was off but if Musafir had reached here there were no worries she would make it.
Finally reached Halvad but all hotels were closed for lunch so decided to move on to Tikar. We gathered quite a crowd at Tikar. Once we moved on from there some of us stopped with Amol to have tea. The chai guy served it in saucers which was quite amusing and fun to drink from. Had been a long time since I drank from a saucer. The locals gathered around as usual and were inspecting Karthik's (Royal Beasts) bike and questioning why his handle bars were different. To this the village know it all in a superior ‘I know it all’ tone replied that this is the latest design.From here on it was all loose mud, so I was going slowly but really enjoying it.We camped just out of Tikar. First thing we did was set up tents. Once all the tents were up we moved onto setting up the kitchen only to realize we didn't have regulators. Amol and Jay went back to Tikar to see if they could get one. We continued with dinner preparation. Once Amol came back we made tea and then started with dinner. By now the tani party as we say in the south had started.Spent some time talking to Ajay only to realize he's not that bad a guy. Some locals came to check on us and helped find firewood. Finally stumbled back to my tent at 2am. Was sleeping out in a tent like this for the first time and woke up quite a few times when I heard sounds of people walking.

Day 12 : 5th Jan. 2005 : Wednesday
Odometer: Must have done around 20 or so km
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 11:00am – 1:30pm
From & To: Tikar - Varnu

Woke up at about 8 am again. Walked around and then decided not to brush so headed for tea. Had breakfast followed by a photo session. Then we started out into the Rann. My pace was slow as it was largely mud and unknown terrain.Took lots of snaps. Saw some absolutely awesome mirages, wild wild asses, salt fields, a monitor lizard and endless land. We found the monitor in the truck when we stopped for a break and photos. He ran off and sat in the shade on Cinderella's rear wheel. Had quite a time photographing him (wonder if he knows he's a celebrity) and then he just wouldn't get off the wheel when he finally did, it was to squeeze in between the seat and the mud guard. When we asked the locals they backed off saying it was poisonous. Finally got him out of there andhe took off into the desert. Saw a herd of wild asses as they were chased by bulls (bullets). Had a great photo session. Also took a ride in the 'chakara'. A desimade in Gujarat vehicle, a real mean machine with a capacity to take the load of 1 ton and very decorative too. We then headed towards the other end of the Rann past the salt fields.Shekhar had an accident and I really appreciate his and Vijaya's tolerance of pain and attitude. Didn't see them once complain. Once we had Shekhar and Vijaya comfortable in the truck we started out again only to get stuck in wet mud. Wheels jammed, clutch plates burnt. With lots of help got Musafir to the other side. Once there I parked her and headed back to help the rest. Amol asked me if I could ride a bullet as we had to move one of the bikes that was in front ofthe truck. Said yes I could if he would start it and explain the gears. Not that I couldn't start it. Had ridden a bullet twice before but was apprehensive of the luggage weight and terrain. So Amol started it and I put it in first gear and just slowly rode it to the group at the other end. They had to hold her up as soon as I stopped. That sure was a lot of weight.Amol then said the group that was out would head out to the campsite with the truck and he asked me to come along. As usual was moving slowly and at some point lost track of the truck in front as it got dark and could not see the group at the back either. Had spoken to some locals just before leaving the group andthey had said that from here on as long as you stuck to the left track you would reach Varnu. So now that was what I did. As it got dark put on my headlights and was a bit surprised when they were quite dim but then I thought it must be the battery and that it would get better soon.

Reached the end where the shrubs started again. Had dreamt of riding in the Rann alone and I got to do that. There is no feeling like it. Nothing can make you feel so small and insignificant. Surprisingly didn't feel scared just felt a great sense of awe and respect for the land and the Rann. Once in the shrubs area reached a fork again and wasn't sure which to take so stopped and only then realized that my headlight was dim coz I had just pushed it half way up so put them on fully and waited for someone to come. Saw a headlight in the Rann and a few minutes later Amol came back from the other side. He told me how toget to the campsite and headed back towards the group in the Rann. (When he came back he said that after he gave me directions and went on he felt someone was following him. Was quite an eerie feeling, first see a head light, then Amol feels someone was following him, hmmm...) I almost missed the temple in the dark but if felt nice to reach the campsite. We started to unload the truck so that it would be easier for the truck to leave to take Shekar and Vijaya to a doctor and also to start dinner preparations. I found some hard boiled eggs and sat down to peel them.

Around an hour or so later the second batch came out and Meeta tookover dinner preparations.Amol went back for the third lot with help, water and biscuits. Gaurav and Nikhil went in the opposite direction to find a way to the highway. The rest of us started to gather firewood and we set up two bikes to flash the headlights as beacons for Gaurav and Nikhil. I had quite an animated conversation with the truck driver and his helper while assisting with the fire. Gaurav came back and accompanied the truck with Shekhar and Vijaya to Gandhidham. The last lots of guys came out from the Rann at 1:30am. Had left behind 4 bikes in the Rann to be brought back in the morning. We had dinner and slept finally at 3am.

Day 13 : 6th Jan. 2005 : Thursday
Odometer: 4551
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 1:30pm – 7:30pm
From & To: Varnu - Gandhidham

We woke up quite early and after breakfast one group headed back into the Rann while the other went to Varnu. Also had to absolutely attend to natures call. Had tried to resist until now but couldn't anymore so off I went on my adventure. For the first time in the open with tissue paper. Now that's a first.Spent the morning packing up and once that was done waiting for all to return.We finally set out at 1:30pm towards Gandhidham. Was going slow as there were cross winds and Musafir was swinging. Histu and Gaurav had a lot of patience through all of this. Started making good time once we hit the NH8A as there were straight roads and no crosswinds.Finally reached Desert Palace at Gandhidham at 7:30pm and was very impressed.Washed up and gathered to view Gaurav's Documentary called Landscapes of Solitude – A biography of a Biker Changpa. Was very moved by the little I saw and can't wait to see the complete version.Took a paparazzi walk around the resort with inputs from Ajay. I was completely floored. (Ajay don't you dare forget your offer). After all the talking, thanking and goodbyes finally hit the sack at 2am.

Snaps of Kutch Calling...

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2131765240&code=14373335&mode=invite&DCMP=isc-email-AlbumInvite

Day 14 : 7th Jan. 2005 : Friday
Odometer: 4715
Falls & Drops: 0/1
Start & End Time: 12:00pm – 2:30am
From & To: Gandhidham – Ahmedabad

We, that is Ajay, GR and I woke up at 4am and headed out to KalaDungar at 5am. The plan was an impromptu one made last minute at night to watch the sunrise from KalaDungar.So off we went via Bhuj to Khavda and the KalaDungar. Enroute for the first time saw a cow fall off the road. Ajay had slowed down when he saw a herd of cows, all slowly walked past but the last one just fell off the road as it was at a higher level into the ditch below and then calmly just got up and walked away. We sat watching it all in the light of the headlight.We got to KalaDungar just as the sky was lightning up. Soon we were happily shooting away at the sun as it rose.Walked around and saw India Bridge and the Great Rann of Kutch. Saw the mound where the priest from the temple sets out food (vegetarian at that) and then calls out ' Lon, Lon ' which means jackal and as he calls out to the beat of a spoon and plate jackals emerge from the surrounding hills to have lunch. Didn't get to see this ritual that happens at 1pm so now have an excuse to go back, of course along with going all the way to India Bridge.On the way back saw the huts at Khavda called ‘Bungas’, in such a way that the interior remains cool in the day and warm at night. Once passed Khavda we touched 170km/hr on an absolutely straight stretchbetween Khavda and Bhuj. Absolutely unbelievable 100kms through theRann. Such a straight road.Had desired to see the Great Rann and KalaDungar and that I did too.350kms in 4 hours. Good stuff.Got back and quickly got ready to head out to Ahmedabad. Now I justcouldn't wait to reach Mumbai.At the gate of the resort dropped bike as was put off balance by Meherwho was trying to squeeze through. Decided to take the Dhangandra –Viramgam highway instead of the Limdi highway.Once we started off the roads were good for sometime and we covered quite some distance but then we hit the bad stretch. Almost 50km of highway under construction between Dhangandra and Viramgam. Loads of deviations. Absolute madness of mud and stones. Some of the worst roads I've seen. And to top it all a huge chunk of it in the dark. Ajay following or leading me within sight. And then it got cold and then colder. Had to stop to warm my fingers as they could refuse to obey commands from my mind. As soon as I would get off the bike knees would buckle. Absolute psychosis. Reached Ajay's apartment in Ahmedabad at 2:30am after linking up with Prashanth and Sanjeev at the Sarkhej circle.

Snaps of KalaDungar

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2131552391&code=14371695&mode=invite&DCMP=isc-email-AlbumInvite

Day 15 : 8th Jan. 2005 : Saturday
Odometer: 5004
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 11:30am – 10:00pm
From & To: Ahmedabad - Surat

I was in dire need of sleep and so was everyone else so we finally left Ahmedabad at 11:30am. We stopped to refuel at Nadiad and while everyone was topping up we had chai in a shop opposite the Reliance petrol pump. The lady at the chai shop was making rotis on the chula and they looked very tempting so asked her if I could have one of those too. She gave me one and I ate it just like that. Reminded me on Mom’s rotis and how I ate them hot from the tava. Then Prashanth ate one too. Now she had made three and had one left so gave me that too. Was telling her how much I was enjoying them while eating. When she took payment all she took money for was the chai, refused to take money for the rotis. Made good time in the beginning and reached Bharuch. Here we lost sometime having lunch but it was a good thing as GR joined us again. He hadstopped at Anand to get his brakes fixed.Just after this Ajay had his accident and I had this vague feeling and refused to go beyond Surat. So Surat was our next stop. Meher moved on towards Panvel. The part of the highway between Bharuch and Surat that we did in the dark was the scariest bit of my entire ride.Called my aunt and then landed there for the night. Ajay was in quite a lot of pain and I knew it. But then the thick headed guy would not listen so I let him be.

Day 16 : 9th Jan. 2005 : Sunday
Odometer: 5385
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 6:00am – 5:00pm
From & To: Surat – Panvel (Mumbai)

We left early the next day via the Dungri route I had come by. GR and Manju headed towards Chikhli just before Valsad as they planned to head back to Hyderabad via Dangs - Aurangabad. At Valsad we stopped at Satnam Dhaba and met Sheshu there. We decided to regroup again just before we reached Mumbai.We started out again. Ajay was having a lot of difficulty riding but was being very stubborn about it. A little later we met Prashant and rode on. Ajay would speed up and stop and wait for me after every 30 odd km. That was how we made it to Mumbai.Once we reached the suburbs it was plainly visible that Ajay couldn't ride. He would not use the clutch and the ride from here on required the clutch. My phone was out of currency and he refused to let me use his phone. So we kept riding making very little progress. Finally had my way and called for help. Mandeep and Shamsher came to Panvel and picked us up.Seeing Shamsher was one of the happiest moments of my life. Had been away so long and had started to think that I would never reach Panvel. Once we got to Raigad Resort headed to the doc with Ajay and got his hand looked at.The rest of the evening was quite eventful. From the joy of having Shamsher around to the documentary on Varun and Raja. Culminating with Ajay leaving due to some gunks even though he was in no state to ride.Went to sleep completely tired but content to be back with Shamsher.

When you gotta go, you gotta go…

Day 17 : 10th Jan. 2005 : Monday
Odometer: 5593
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 12:00pm – 4:30pm
From & To: Panvel (Mumbai) – Pune

Woke up really late and finally had a bath. Hadn't had one since the 4th. Then set out for Pune at 12:00 noon. These ghats were some of the worst I had seen. Steep and terrible road. Did it on second gear. Absolutely crazy. The express highway was nice. Had lunch in Khandala.Reached Pune around 4pm and headed to the railway station in search of Ajay as he had called and told me he would be there. Didn't find him there and was a worried as to his whereabouts especially now that his number also wasn't going through.Moved on ahead and found a lodge to sleep.

Day 18 : 11th Jan. 2005 : Tuesday
Odometer: 5707
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 10:00am – 8:30pm
From & To: Pune - Sholapur

Was a bit warm at night and when we woke up Shamsher was just telling me that he had been thinking of opening the windows at night. When I pulled the curtains apart I found this huge bee hive there. Sent the shivers down my spine when I thought what could have happened with open windows.We soon started out for Sholapur. Was completely tired. Fatigue had finally caught up or maybe it was just that I now had someone to rely on and was going soft. Either ways had really started to feel the kilometers. Couldn't go on after sometime so Shamsher found a place by a canal and I just went to sleep. Woke after about an hour and a half and headed out again.

Passed two trucks carrying the blades of windmills. Was stunned by their size, they seemed so small usually. Stopped just after sunset to drink sugarcane juice and bought grapes too. The juice was fresh from the field just beyond and simply lovely.Stopped 30km before Sholapur thinking of just staying the night there as I was having a tough time riding at night but didn’t like any place to stay. All the lodges and hotels seemed too seedy. Decided to push on till Sholapur and find a place there.Reached Sholapur completely drained. All I could do was sleep and that was what I did.

Day 19 : 12th Jan. 2005 : Wednesday
Odometer: 5940
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 10:30am - 7pm
From & To: Sholapur – Hospet

Started out well rested from Sholapur. Still it was quite something to get to Hospet.At the first stop in the morning found lots of eagle feathers and this lovely small blue green feather. The next stop was for lunch at Bijapur. But before we got there experienced this truck I will call Tau Ji as that was written on the back. It was a 30 foot car carrier that was doing about 65kph but wanted to overtake all other trucks. So this Haryana (HR38) number plate driver had derived his own unique style to do it. He would over take from the right and as he would come in line with the truck his little chela would lean completely out of the window and frantically wave out at the driver to slow down. Am sure the chela was very concerned for his own life. The driver got shown the ‘danda’ quite a few times by on coming trucks. Wonder what was the hurry.

Saw a mongoose cross the road – it was my one and only wildlife sighting through the ride.After lunch saw another HR38 and immediately slowed down as didn’t want to be anywhere near Tau Ji until I realized this was a different truck with a sane driver.Stopped as the sun was setting to watch the cattle peacefully cross the road and accidentally found a little water harvesting dam. Wish I had taken a snap of it in the sunset, can still see it when I close my eyes. It was a lovely sight with rock formations in the background, the shadows of the setting sun on the water and all shades of brown.Had a near miss that evening while riding in the dark. Was leading and didn't see this truck that had stopped in front with no tail lights or reflectors. Shamsher did see it and thought I would stop when I didn't he honked. Was doing about 60 and just braked when he honked with no thought to why I should stop. Stopped just a foot away from the truck. Was shaking for a good 20 min.Finally reached Malligi Hotel after navigating through some awful city traffic and asking a lot of people for directions. The last auto guy very enthusiastically in broken English with a completely Kanada touch asked us if we want to see Hampi, “You see Hampi, Hampi you know?”, to which we just smiled and said we know and its ok, thanks and left. Later I was wishing I had said something to him in Kanada just to see his expression. Cheap thrills in life.Had a nice dinner and went off to bed.

Day 20 : 13th Jan. 2005 : Thursday
Odometer: 6242
Falls & Drops: 0/0
Start & End Time: 10:30am - 8:30pm
From & To: Hospet – Bangalore

Started out a bit early for Bangalore. Now all I wanted was to reach home. Home was a nice thought after 20 days on the road.Was quite a long way. Took the wrong route out of Hospet so did someextra km, saw a hill covered by oh so straight fire lines (Shamsher and I had an entire conversation on how they managed to burn so straight) and also saw the Tungabhadra reservoir. We had just passed over a railway track where there was a huge traffic jam caused by a trucks front wheel getting stuck in mud over the track. I still remember my words when I saw the reservoir suddenly appear around a bend, I was like “Samundar ithar kaise aa gaya?”. Shamsher had had a good laugh. Passed though some reserve forests and saw loads of sunflowers. Most of which had dried. This route till Kudligi had loads of harvests spread out on the roads and an immense number of speed breakers. I even saw a new sign by the road which had two men sitting with a hut in a triangular formation. The hut being at the tip on top.Stopped under a tamarind tree and Shamsher ate lots of tamarind. Wonder why he was feeling like eating so much khatta stuff.

Passed an entire range of hills with windmills on them just before Chitradurg. Was a pretty sight. From Chitradurg on the highway was under construction but good.. Had thought of buying water as soon as we got out of the hotel but hadn’t and at the last stop had finished even the electral solution we had made the day before. Now as it was getting hotter water became top priority and so bought water at Reddy’s Dhaba which didn’t seem ok to eat lunch at so moved on in search of a place to eat. Stopped for lunch at an authentic sardar dhaba where a guy tried to sell us a digital Pentex camera for Rs.2000. The camera completely looked like a five year olds toy.

Our next stop was for coconut water by the side of the road where two dogs were so engrossed in their courtship that they almost got run over. Shamsher had to chase them off just so he would not see them being run over. They must have being wondering who this kabab mein kadi was.
Then met this orange bus too, who was weaving in and out of traffic like a maniac. And at one point suddenly decided that he will stop over taking and all vehicles were wondering what was wrong.
Finally hit the Toll way after Tumkur. That stretch I had done before on the way toMadhugiri with the ultimate pillion Pallavi. My friend and travel partner. From here on it already felt like I was home.As soon as we reached Bangalore headed to Mom's house to meet Granny and pick up my phone. Had thought of surprising my roomie in the morning when she came home so hadn't told her was reaching that day. But was completely surprised myself when I called her on my Granny's insistence only to realize that she had just changed the lock that day and not left a key. So now had to go all the way to office to pick up a key.Finally reached home. Oh it felt so nice but only until the next ride.

Snaps of Home Coming...

http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2131325535&code=14371702&mode=invite&DCMP=isc-email-AlbumInvite

Closing Odometer : 6572

Total distance : 4187

This was a trip of a life time. I do know there will never be another like it, the rest may surpass it or may not even come close but this trip was my first and will always be cherished. Had been thinking from the day I left what I would name it and was playing with a title 'Trip of Firsts' as there were so many firsts. First long solo ride, first group ride, first fall, first with so much luggage, first night ride, first time on ghats, first time 546km in a day, first time seeing such super roads as the NH17, first time seeing such pathetic roads as on the way from Gandhidham to Ahmedabad, first time sleeping in a tent and a sleeping bag, first time riding alone in the Rann, first time using a natural toilet and paper, first time having quite a sore butt, first time suffering return to ground reality shock, oh the list can go on… but then somewhere along my ride all this became a learning experience. And so the name changed to a 'Journey of Firsts'. There is so much I have learnt from this ride. So much I have brought back.

It's an affair of a lifetime. My favorite threesome, Freya, Musafir and the Road. What an affair… from smooth courting to horrendous upheavals. Feeling those curves, those peek-a-boos, amazing views now seen now hidden. A surprise around each bend. Just going on wherever the road leads. Not mine to ask, just follow. A tango of three with moves made by all. This is one love story. She has me hooked. I am in love and I love the feeling.

And how can I forget the highlight of this trip. Before I set out from Bangalore my mech did final testing of the bike before handing her over and corrected the fork. Once he signed her off I was completely confident of her being fine. Then my brother tested her and noticed some swaying at speeds but thought it normal for a light bike. My friends noticed something amiss on the first day but didn’t say anything as I was on a long ride. I had a tough time navigating curves and was wondering why but finally put it down to weight and luggage. In Ahmedabad Vinod told me the front and back wheel alignment was off, which was most likely to be due to the swing arm or fork. Since he said it wouldn’t hamper riding too much I just continued. Was a struggle to handle the bike at speeds of 80-90 with crosswinds. Thought would get it fixed at Pune but once I got there thought it best to let my mech do whatever was required. So brought her back home and gave her for servicing. Told mech Babu about the swinging and he took her for a test ride. He was shocked at how she managed 4000 odd km in this state. Anyway he called me 2 days later and says he just doesn’t know how I did this ride coz the difference between both the wheels is about 5-6 inches. It’s not the swingarm or fork but the frame itself. It had happened in the accident before I left. Need to replace the frame as it can’t be fixed. Am so proud of Musafir. Love u baby.

But this whole journey is not complete with out thanking the peoplewho made it possible. So here goes…

- First of all Musafir for just being her and being there.
- My family for all their support and belief that I could do this. Thanx a ton guys. My Mom for all her love, support and belief. Mom you made me believe. My brother for all his bike testing and tips. Love you Dude.
- Shamsher you're the best. Couldn't have done it without you. I love you is all I can say.
- My friends for all their support and help. Bansi and Abhi – learnt a lot from you the first two days. Bansi thanx for all the plotting and planning. Subs - thanx for just being there. Small - thanx for all those tips especially the sand one it got me across the Rann.
- Pallavi – you were there from the start and love you for that. Rupal for being so different and setting me free.
- Mamatha - thanx for believing and trusting.
- All at 60kph for all the support. Gaurav for the pushing to take Musafir. Histu, Jay and all the guys who tailed me, salute your patience. Anuj for patiently waiting outside Ahmedabad. Mandeep for the Dungri route, had loads of fun there. Amol (notice no ji) was great meeting you, can’t wait to have chai again. Praveen - thanx for being there and saying I understand. Prem was great meeting you. Dips, Nikhil, Aman, Shekhar, Saurabh, Vinod, Nicky and all. There were so many names and faces but all are friends now. Thanx to each one, you've enriched my life.
- Ajay – it's amazing how you can spend a lifetime trying to get to know someone and in three days feel you've known someone for a lifetime. Thanx for all (you know what all).
- GR, Meher, Manju and Seshu it was great to meet all of you. Hope to ride with you again soon. Have learnt a lot from you.
- Nikhil – Thanx for waiting by Musafir for me.
- Special mention for Ambar – Thanx for the tent bugger.
- My Mech for getting my bike up and running in such a short while and doing such an awesome job.
- Samarth for all the help.
- And to all those people I have absentmindedly forgotten to include. Please forgive me and a very special thank you to all of you. Couldn't have done it without you.

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