Four Years and Counting

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="360" caption="Che and me on 24th May 2014 :D"][/caption]

Che and I completed four years of marriage last Saturday. We've been together 6 years now and I can't believe it, someday's it feels like it all happened yesterday and someday's, like it's been eternity. But all said and done my last six years have been tremendous fun.

Cuckoo came into our lives about six months before we formalised things and Senti soon after her. And the two of them brought so much with them - routine, discipline, processes and schedules, all enveloped in love. They gave Che and me, the wanderer spirits that we are, a grounding.

Oh, and anyone who has met Cuckoo and Senti will tell you that they are fun beings. Life just becomes fun and funny sometimes with them around. And if that fun wasn't enough over the years three more joined the fun panel.

The dogs have been around so long that sometimes I feel we hardly travel but in the last six years Che and I have traveled a fair bit together. We've travelled by bike, bus, train and plane across India. We've even managed to do that in Thailand. And separately we've traveled a lot too, Che maybe much more than me but then he travels on work and I on holiday. :D

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="On the Move, In the Train"][/caption]

Che quit his corporate job 20 days before we got married, what that means is that we have actually spent most of four years together. As freelancers both of us work from home, we are around each other almost 24/7. And how that makes the fireworks fly. We fight, oh man do we fight. I think our neighbours and the dogs will attest to that and yet I enjoy being around him, the house feels empty when he's not around (even with 5 dogs).

Che is a fun guy, he will find things to do on a dull day, he will make the mundane, super cool. He will find that must watch movie, he'll give you the scoop in news, he introduces me to music I hadn't paid attention to before, he'll have the latest Sherlock Holmes ready to watch almost as soon as it airs in UK, he'll suggest scrabble on a rainy day, he makes even a trip to the grocery store an adventure and above all else he talks books.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Che also makes me look good in pictures :)"][/caption]

There have been times when people have asked me why I love Che and I'm tongue tied. [Not so tongue tied when I have to list what I don't like :D ] But the above's why I love him, it's difficult to explain why in words. :P

On our anniversary we had a very 'Che day', we celebrated. Che made this lovely Aloo, Mutton Aur Mutter Curry for our special anniversary lunch while I made the papads to go with it. :D We caught up with a couple of old friends after ages and went out with them to dinner. And this was no usual dinner, we started with Davangere Benne Dosa's at DVG Road before heading to V.V.Puram Food Street for some sinful obuttu and Bowring badam kulfi. And all of it wrapped up nicely with a visit from my brother just before the day completed at twelve. We had a full, fun, day.

And to complete this post, here are some quotes I found that are apt to us...
You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore... but let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
- Kahlil Gibran

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

A married couple are well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a quarrel at the same time.
- Jean Rostand

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -- as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
- Phyllis Diller

;-)

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Book Review: The Bad Touch by Payal Shah Karwa

Title: The Bad Touch
Author: Payal Shah Karwa
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: Hay House Publishers (2014)
Genre: Non-Fiction
Read: Paperback
Stars: ****/5
Buy On: Amazon | FlipKart

Summary: (Goodreads)
Real-life stories of victims of child sex abuse who emerged victorious!

Harish Iyer is a survivor nay he is a thriver of child sex abuse. He is an award winning social activist who first shared his disturbing story of his sexual abuse on the television show Satyamev Jayate and who gave voice to the issue when most would be silent.

There are others: noted film director Anurag Khashyap, a victim of incest and sexual abuse, not once but many times over; Jai, living in a Mumbai high rise suffers abuse and a now 34 year old mother who suffered sexual abuse as a 12 year old.

The stories in The Bad Touch will shock, horrify, sadden, repulse and numb the reader. But underlying them is the small ray of hope that if the immediate family is sensitive enough to the signals a child may send out, he or she may be rescued from being victimized.

This book is a mission: to help ebb the trauma of survivors and inspire them with stories like Harishs and to create awareness of the issue of child sex abuse amongst parents/guardians.

My Review:

Note: Thanks Payal Shah Karwa for offering me your book to read and review :)



Cover: The background image has a blue tinge and is not clear. But the name pops out!

Paper and font: Paper and font is good.

Readability, language: Simple language.

Why did I choose this book: Child Sexual Abuse (CSA) is an issue close to my heart. I was abused as a child and I know the trauma first hand. So, when I heard from Karwa's team to review the book, there's no way I'd say no.

'The Bad Touch' is a book packed with information. The backbone of the book is the story of Harish Iyer, who was brutally abused as a child. It is a hard hitting story of how cruel and traumatic CSA can be on a child.

Harish Iyer's childhood is gruesome (it made me squirm) but he has survived his ordeal and is now a social activist. Through Harish's story Karwa lays the foundations of what is CSA and it's brutality.

There are further stories of both men and women who have been abused as children. Most of them are aliases but one noted name is Anurag Kyashap.

The stories are all varied and chilling but the common thread through them all is that these are the stories of people who have gotten over their pasts and are thriving today.

Reading these stories makes you realise that there are so many untold stories in the world of people who lost the fight or are still struggling with their pasts.

Child Sex Abuse can happen to any child, it doesn't matter how much care the parents take. The more sure method of preventing it is educating your child and building a bond of trust with your child, so the child tells you when it happens.

Apart from the stories 'The Bad Touch' gives insight into the trauma of victims, what they thought and felt as children and the various healing processes they followed.

It also has information about organisations working in the CSA space, how to deal with Child Sexual Abuse, tips for parents, how abusers work, and more. Karwa also gives a history and explains The Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act of 2012 in detail.

Karwa has done a good job with incorporating all the various aspects of Child Sexual Abuse in 'The Bad Touch'. This is a book I'd recommend to all parents, not just to read but to keep handy, just in case.

About the Author:
After 6 years in marketing communications Payal Shah Karwa is now a content writer pursuing her mission of being actively involved in social causes through her writing. She can be found on Twitter at @payalshahkarwa

Buy On: Amazon | FlipKart

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The A to Z Challenge in Review

Phew! I'm finally done with the A to Z Challenge. And I was so happy about that yesterday that, when Che asked me to take the day off and chill with him, I did, forgetting all about my post. Freya, bad girl! :D

When I started out on 14th April it felt like it would never finish the challenge, I'd never get 26 posts done. But here I am 26 posts later and it feels good to have completed my challenge.

Wasn't a clear win, and there were many hiccups. Days when I couldn't sit down to write, the words just wouldn't come, I couldn't find the right word; it took me 34 days to get 26 posts done and that's one too many a holiday in-between posts.

But anyway all that aside, this challenge was a learning experience at various levels.

I learned some new words and their etymology in the whole exercise. Days where I couldn't find a word I learned to use Google better :D, I thought out of the box for some letters, reached into my heart for some and even my past for some. In some cases I learned something new and amazing like about Rastafarian or that the SCUBA we use today was first co-developed by Cousteau in 1943.

There were days when I had so much to do but I was confident I would find the time to write everyday. And some days I did, I wrote a fair number of posts on the mobile phone when I couldn't sit down at a computer. Writing, editing and publishing through the mobile phone was a first for me. Need to learn how to do this better though, since I couldn't figure out how to add images to my post on the mobile.

The other thing I learned is not to take for granted that I will find the time to write everyday. I have to learn to write ahead of time and schedule the post. [Crack that whip, I need to get my act together! :D]

The most important lesson though I think was that when I make up my mind I can do things. I wrote posts on days when I though it would just not be possible to do it. I relearned will-power and determination, and the possibilities it opens up.

This challenge had me push my limits and helped me find a little bit of me again. I found writing and it's joy again. So here's to me being more active on my blog. Cheers!

Here's my 26 posts and words for 2014 -

A for Alpha, A for Aspire
B for Bravo, B for Balance
C for Charlie, C for Celebration
D for Delta, D for Determination

E for Echo, E for Explore
F for Foxtrot, F for Friends
G for Golf, G for Gratitude
H for Hotel, H for Hope

I for India, I for I
J for Juliet, J for Josh
K for Kilo, K for Kismet
L for Lima, L for Labour

M for Mike, M for More, Maza
N for November, N for Nature
O for Oscar, O for Orgasmic
P for Papa, P for Positive

Q for Quebec, Q for Quirky
R for Romeo, R for Rastafarian
S for Sierra, S for Silence
T for Tango, T for Time-out

U for Uniform, U for Unique
V for Victory, V for Vitality
W for Whiskey, W for Wisdom

X for X-ray, X for X-factor
Y for Yankee, Y for Yummy
Z for Zulu, Z for Zero

I last used the phonetic alphabet over 8 years ago while I still worked in a BPO, though the A to Z I tested my memory and I managed to get 24 out of 26 correct. Not a bad show, eh?

Have you done an A to Z challenge? Did you enjoy it? What did you learn from it?

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Z for Zulu, Z for Zero

"Along life's journey,
May it ever be your goal,
To keep your eyes on the doughnut,
And not upon the hole."

The first time I came across these lines was in my 2nd PU (12th) scrapbook. Those days scrapbooks with questions and layouts were a rage and I'd been so proud to get one. Anyway, over the years the book has gotten buried somewhere but these lines have remained with me. It's become one of my favourite life advises.

And that's where zero comes in. Zero by itself isn't much or rather is nothing, but put it along with another number and things dramatically change. And with each addition of a zero, the number increases by leaps and bounds. There's more to a zero then it's zilch.

To me zero is also a number with negative connotations, so I wondered do a lot of people choose zero as their favourite number? A little bit of searching and reading let me to Alex Bellos, a mathematics blogger for The Guardian. A few years back Alex setup a site favouritenumber.net and asked people what was their favourite number and why.

After surveying over 30,000 people from across the world, the results are in and here's what he has to say about zero.

"If you like the number 0, join the smart aleck club. More than any other number, people seemed to pick 0 because they thought it was a clever thing to do."

If you are wondering about the results of the survey, 7 ranked highest followed by 3 and 8. As for zero, it isn't the least favourite but it isn't in the top 20 either.

So coming back to point, zero is an interesting number, it's a clever number. Inert by itself but capable of causing positive, drastic and big changes when put in with another.

These would be nice qualities to have no? I'd like to be more of a zero this year. :D

What do you think of zero? What's your favourite number?

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Y for Yankee, Y for Yummy

I am almost at the end of my A to Z Challenge with just 'Y' and 'Z' left now. And Y and Z fall into the 'difficult to find words, wait for divine inspiration' category. So I duly waited for that stroke of enlightenment, that spotlight of sunshine.

The hunt for words with Y brought up some interesting finds -

yaff - to bark like a snarling dog
yager - nineteenth-century rifle
yashmak - double Muslim veil leaving only eyes uncovered
yegg - a burglar of safes
yerk - to draw tight; to bind
yappy - talkative, loquacious
yodel - sing with abrupt alternating changes between the normal voice and falsetto
yeuk - to itch
yex - to hiccup, belch or spit

And then, as I ate lunch yesterday, in marched the word 'Yummy' into my mind, and got reinforced with dinner.

This whole gassy situation has cramped my eating style. Gone are the days of eating irregularly and mindlessly. I now have to make sure my stomach doesn't stay empty for long and that I eat healthy.

Considering my culinary skills and enthusiasm in the kitchen this was an uphill task. Something that boggled my mind so much that if asked 'What shall we eat?', my standard reply was curd rice (not that I'm a taair-sadam fan).

And that's where the hero makes entry, he swaggers in and sweeps the damsel off her feet. :D Che did just that, he took it on and found the infamous khichidi, which in the last couple of weeks he has perfected. If it wasn't as good as it is, I would have gotten bored of it much earlier.

But yeah, I've been getting bored, slowly and steadily my perkiness to the word 'lunch' has waned and my beeline to the kitchen has become a crawl.

So what does the hero do? He flicks his wand and finds new dishes I can eat. Yeah, you could say Che must have been bored too, but I like seeing him as hero. :P

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption="Photo Credit: Chenthil"][/caption]

Yesterday he made avial for lunch and adai for dinner. Ohh and did I enjoy it. They were both yum. Avial is one of my favourite veggie dishes, it not only has coconut milk but also tons of veggies. I could eat a bowlful just like that!

Adai, I don't think I have ever eaten this before but I really liked it. Simple to make once the batter was given to me, it was a wholesome filling meal. And with the amount of ghee I was instructed to put, fattening too!

This post isn't about me really, it's about this man I married who does such an awesome job in the kitchen that I sometimes think I should just keep him there, if only he cleaned up as well as he cooked I might have. :D Che is so the opposite of me; I find cooking stressful and a chore but to him it's therapeutic and fun.

Tasty is an important word to me, when it comes to food. I love eating different types of food but making it all, just isn't my thing. Left to myself I'll crib, curse, mop and then eat dal rice or curd rice rather then make something elaborate.

So, here's my official thank you to Che for making my year 'yummy'. :P

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X for X-ray, X for X-factor

I spent all of yesterday and today thinking of words starting with 'x', I searched and found quite a few words too, but all them were exotic and unusable. I was starting to contemplate writing a post about not finding a word when it all fell into place, x-factor was my word.

The electricity went out at about 1pm today. With only half of the house work done and clothes in the washing machine I prayed it would come back soon.

After all the work and some sitting around I finally gave up at 5pm and had a cold water bath. The electricity still wasn't back.

With sunset nearing Che and I now decided to take action, this wasn't normal. A little bit of scouting around and we learned it was just our lane without power and that our neighbour was just heading out to complain to the society guys.

There wasn't much we could do but sit and wait, so we headed back and sat down for a few minutes under the cherry tree. Our street's been dug up and looks a bit different right now. Maybe the JCB had something to do with the power outage.

Sitting there, there came the idea of a movie, no work was going to happen for a while at home anyway. And today was Wednesday, that meant 100 rupee tickets! 20 minutes later, tickets booked, we were on our way to Hawa Hawai.

The movie as a concept is great but it has so many sub-stories that the main story struggles to be seen in the haze. Anyway back to point. It was on our way to the movie that 'x-factor' hit me.

My life in all about the x-factor, the unscheduled power-cuts and the unplanned movies. And happiness seems to be all about celebrating the x-factor. :-)

BTW have you watched Hawa Hawai? What did you think of it?

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W for Whiskey, W for Wisdom

I remember the first time I came across the Serenity Prayer, it was way back in school on a bookmark sold by the Sisters at the annual charity book sale. I bought the bookmark and still have it somewhere buried in all my treasures. The words though stuck in my head and got refreshed a few times over the years when I came across the prayer off and on.

And then I thought of it again, when I thought about Wisdom the other day. And as always I went looking on Google and found a Wiki page on it.

God, grant me -
The serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

There is something about this prayer that is haunting, it's simple and yet holds a world on meaning. Almost as if, if you understood it's depths, you'd find enlightenment and eternal peace.

Here's some things I also found out on Wiki about the Serenity Prayer.

This prayer though commonly known as The Serenity Prayer was originally an untitled prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr, an American theologian around 1943. Today The Serenity Prayer has been adopted by the Alcoholics Anonymous and many other twelve-step programs.

The original, attributed to Niebuhr, is:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

The Serenity Prayer has been a part of the  Alcoholics Anonymous since 1941.

The adapted prayer used by the Alcoholics Anonymous was: ″Father, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other.″

However the 12 Step Groups adopted a slightly different version: ″God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.″

Some precursors to the prayer that struck a cord with me...

If there’s a remedy when trouble strikes,
What reason is there for dejection?
And if there is no help for it,
What use is there in being glum?
- 8th-century Indian Buddhist scholar Shantideva

"And they said: At the head of all understanding – is realizing what is and what cannot be, and the consoling of what is not in our power to change."
- 11th century Jewish philosopher Solomon ibn Gabirol

For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.
-  philosopher W.W. Bartley in a Mother Goose rhyme

And here are a couple of modern day versions :D





The Serenity Prayer is quite a famous prayer and has been used in music, books and even movies. Some places the prayer appears are in Robert Downey, Jr. song "Broken" on his album The Futurist, he sings part of the prayer, Kurt Vonnegut's book Slaughterhouse-Five and in the movie Flight where William "Whip" Whitaker (played by [Denzel Washington]), a recovering alcoholic and drug user, has a copy of the prayer at the end of the 2012 film.

A simple prayer and yet it packs a punch. It has so much to it and encompasses so much. The Serenity Prayer is a prayer I like to revisit often.

Have you come across The Serenity Prayer before? Do you like it?

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V for Victory, V for Vitality

The dictionary defines vitality as 'the state of being strong and active; energy.' I think someone with vitality is someone with lots of energy and high levels of activity. And the first example that comes to mind of someone like this is 'Moms'. Almost all Moms I know have amazing amounts of energy, fairly robust health and the capability to do incredible things. Women aren't born with this ability but becoming a mother does this to them.

Yesterday was our day out and as Che and I rode across town catching up with friends we hadn't seen in ages, a conversation got me thinking about vitality and mothers. Coincidentally it was mother's day too! Going down that rabbit hole I thought I'd look at what makes mothers so active and energetic. After all being a Mom is not easy, it's taxing, its tiring, it's exhausting, [yeah yeah, it's rewarding too :D ]. But if being a Mom is all that tiring, how do Mom's stay mostly healthy? How do them have so much energy? How do they pack so much into their every day?

Mom's Indiscriminately Eat

I learned the value of food from my mother. It was a rule in our house that you had to finish what was in your plate. You couldn't turn up your nose at any dish and had to eat all. But aside from this I learned not to waste food from my mother, not even a little bit.
Mom hates wasting food so the dinner table doesn't have just today's food but also a little of yesterdays. Kids being kids we tried to escape the old and have the new always. This meant a lot of times there was just a little bit of something left; rather than put it back in the fridge or throw it, Mom would force herself to finish it.
When it comes to waste, she wouldn't even let some fruit slide. If we hadn't scraped the custard apple clean, she would. When she cut mango or watermelon, there would be no fruit left on the skin or seed. Mom was a stickler for no wastage.
My Mom isn't the only one I've seen do this, almost all Mom's I know are like this. This seems to be why even though it seems like they aren't eating well at the dinner table, Mom's still have good health.

Lusty Lists

Mothers don't have a to-do list, they have very many to-do lists. There's a list for the little one's food, the little one's school and homework, then there's a list for the kitchen, a list for the house, a list for the husband, and it goes on. And mothers manage them all and achieve 90% or more on their lists. I have difficulty managing one to-do list on paper, how mothers manage so many boggles my mind.
Have you come across Luminosity? It's a site that helps you exercise your mind for a few minutes everyday. I've been doing the exercises for a couple of weeks now and I find am performing better everyday. The more I exercise my mind the better it's getting.
Maybe all those lists explain why Mom's are so sharp and alert.

Home-Work

Then there's all that physical stuff, picking up after kids, sweeping, moping, dusting, washing clothes, cleaning vessels, and again the list goes on. Mom's make what they do look easy but it isn't easy at all, it's a lot of hard physical labour that brings me to my knees most days.
But all that physical stuff they do explains their physical fitness. The home is like their personal gym, where they exercise while no one is watching.
I notice that I am more healthy and fall sick less when I don't have help and have to do a lot of the house chores myself. Not that I don't want help!

What else do you think gives mothers the vitality they have? How do they acquire the qualities they have? Is it really only a mother thing? Or are all women like this?

What do you think gives your mother unlimited energy? And if you are a mother, please tell me the secret of your energy? [And don't say Boost :P ]

P.S. - Thanks to Mom, after peeling a mango, you'll find me nibbling on the skin for a little extra fruit. Do you do that too?

Photo Credit: OpenClips and Richi on Pixabay.

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U for Uniform, U for Unique

Yesterday was a crazy day packed with stuff and I didn't a chance to write all day. And at the end of the day, I was just too tired to type. So, here's yesterday's post today. :)

Unique has been playing on my mind since a while now but I couldn't think of what to write about. I think I am unique, but so does everyone else. Then, what's the big deal about being unique. Why should I care about being unique?

Then yesterday while Che and I were waiting for rice to cook, we got talking about societal influences and unrelated topics and it struck me - I am not a societal puppet. My morality, my principles, my values, they are unique. They are unique because in the last 30+ years I have interacted with a fairly large number of people. From my family to friends in school, college, work and the outside world. Every interaction I have had has shaped the way I think and feel today.

Some of these interactions are not even face to face. With the TV growing up and now the internet, the number of interactions I have has exploded. And then there are the interactions I have with myself. :D The thought of the sheer number of people and instances in my life astounds me. The number of interactions in just 30 years is so large you could count it as One. One because there are so many that each is indistinct, they are like an entity.



And it is this 'One' that makes me, me. If anything in my life had been different, I may have been a completely or slightly different person today, or for all you know I may have turned out just this way. But it is this One that makes me unique. From all the Me's in all the parallel universes and from everyone else. :D

I am the only one who had these interactions in this series. My morality, my principles, my values, the way I think and feel are a sum of all my past interactions with people. Each one adding to who I am today. I am Unique!

Of course, this is true of everyone else too! :D

Photo Credit: Optimusius1 and PublicDomainPictures on Pixabay.

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T for Tango, T for Time-out

There's been so much to do both on the house front and the work front in the last week that I just haven't had much time for anything else.

Over the years I've realised thatnbsp; taking a day-off makes the work-load of the rest of the week easier. This was easy to do in the corporate world where I had designated days off. But as a freelancer, everyday is Sunday.

As a freelancer I get to choose my day off, invariably though that means a 7 day week. There is always stuff to do and so the day off gets put-off. Days of the week blend in until all days feel the same. I don't notice the Sundays slip by. And slowly an irritability and crankiness sets in. Until I take time off from the daily routine and get over it.

We woke up today to a cool morning with cloudy skies and an intermittent drizzle. As we walked the dogs in a drizzle, I absorbed the day. It was a lovely day after all the sun we've had lately. A day of cold winds bearing a fine mist of water that invited a time-out. It was an excellent day to play.

My mind made up I went about all I had to do to free up the day. I wanted to spend today catching up on some interview recordings. But kismet had other plans and electricity was on the blip today. Thanks to it though, after ages Che and I sat down to a game of scrabble. And I won, with a clear margin. :-)

A while back I came across Anna an animal communicator and what she did impressed me so much, I've been wanting to learn it too. Last week I came across an Animal Speak Summit and signed up to see what I could learn. But I just haven't been able to sit down and listen to the interviews for an hour everyday.

Today was a good day as any I figured to listen to the recordings. I managed to listen to two recordings. Were they earth-shattering, not really but it may be too early to judge the summit based on two recordings.

Even though it was time-out day, I got a lot of work done. Some home work, some work work, and even some scrabble. It's been a very productive day.

Maybe I should take a time-out everyday. :-P

Do you think time-off is important? How often do you take a day off? What do you do on your day off?

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S for Sierra, S for Silence

Silence is golden they say, maybe that is why it seems so loud sometimes. Keeping quiet doesn't come naturally to me, I have always been a talkative one. Haughty strangers may make me shut-up warily for a bit while I chatter and bitch in my head but otherwise, most times people around me pray for me to shut-up. :D

The most torturous punishment I remember from childhood is the one in which I had to sit without moving or talking for a stipulated period. Oh, those things were difficult, I hated them. It was the worse punishment my parents could devise, but I guess they are my parents so are a step ahead of me. I can still hear Dad cajoling, threatening, and doing everything else to get me to just shut-up for a few minutes. :P

I am not my bubbliest with strangers but with my friends it's like I am talking long and fast to make up for the time we missed. I love talking, I don't deny that. Talking helps me rant, vent and sort my head out, it clears my thoughts, else it all feels like a jumbled mess in my head.

But there is another reason I think I talk too much, I don't like silences. Ok, let me correct that, I don't like some silences. For something that is empty, nothing, silence has so many types. The one I don't like the most is the uncomfortable silence (like, does anyone?), the ones that make you squirm and wonder what the other person is thinking.

My solution to dealing with an uncomfortable silence, fill it, fill it with inane chatter, insane chatter, random chatter, just about any chatter. There problem solved, there is no more an uncomfortable silence. Though the recipient of my solution may have a all new problem. :P

I do like silences though, give me a snow capped mountain, a green meadow with yellow daisies, a sun sprinkled beach or a book and I'll be silent for a long length. Except for the book, all the others can't be done in the city. As for the book, removing a book and reading it can sometimes be insulting to the person sharing the silence. So what to do?

How do I learn to make myself comfortable in uncomfortable silences? How do I learn to just keep quiet and listen rather than talk? How do I learn to find peace in silence?

These things I'm going to have to figure out. Maybe I'll start with visualising a beach next time I am in an odd silence. What do you think I should do?

Photo Credit: Nemo and PublicDomainPictures on Pixabay.

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R for Romeo, R for Rastafarian

We have this little Rastafarian doll at home that I really like. He's a constant companion sitting on a ladder near my table. We've had him for a while now but I've never given thought to rastafarianism, comfortable in the cocoon of ignorance. So, today's the day! :)

The first thought that comes to my mind when I think Rastafarian is Bob Marley, Jamaica, dreadlocks, dope, music and hippy. Which is a pretty narrow way of looking at it, isn't it; so next step - some reading.

I was right when I said pretty narrow, coz there is so much to Rastafarianism. Starting with rastafarianism is a term considered derogatory and offensive by most Rastafari. The wikipedia page was loong... Here's are a few things I gleaned.

The Rastafari movement is an African-based spiritual ideology that arose in the 1930s in Jamaica. It is sometimes described as a religion but is considered by many to be a "Way of Life".

The name Rastafari is taken from Ras Tafari, the title (Ras) and first name of Haile Selassie I (Tafari) before his coronation.

The Rastafari Movement was founded by Leonard Percival "Gong" Howell in 1932. Leonard P. Howell was a Mystic Jamaican born in the hills of Clarendon, Jamaica in 1898. Rastafari developed among poor and oppressed Jamaicans of African descent who experienced a society which was largely contrary and apathetic to their problems.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="275" caption="Haile Selassie I in the 1930s"][/caption]

Rastafari worship Haile Selassie I (1892–1975), who was the Emperor of Ethiopia from 1930 to 1974. They believe he will lead the righteous into creating a perfect world called Zion – the ultimate paradise for Rastafari. They say his coming was prophesied in the Bible in Genesis. Haile Selassie I is also refered by Rastas as "His Imperial Majesty" (or the acronym HIM) and "Jah Rastafari."

Jah is a Biblical name of God, and most Rastafari see Haile Selassie I as Jah or Jah Rastafari, an incarnation of God. Rastas tend to be firm adherents to the proposition that in the eyes of Jah, all men and women deserve equal and just rights, treatment and respect. Rastas say that Jah in the form of the Holy Spirit (incarnate) lives within the human. For this reason, they often refer to themselves as "I and I". "I and I" is used instead of "We" to emphasize the equality between all people.

For Rastas, smoking cannabis, commonly referred to as herb, weed, kaya, sinsemilla (Spanish for 'without seeds'), or ganja (from the Sanskrit word ganjika, used in ancient Nepal and India), is a spiritual act (often accompanied by Bible study); they consider it a sacrament that cleans the body and mind, heals the soul, exalts the consciousness, facilitates peacefulness, brings pleasure, and brings them closer to Jah. They often burn the herb when in need of insight from Jah.

According to many Rastas, the illegality of cannabis in many nations is evidence that persecution of Rastafari is a reality. They are not surprised that it is illegal, seeing it as a powerful substance that opens people's minds to the truth — something the Babylon system, they reason, clearly does not want. They contrast it to alcohol and other drugs, which they feel destroy the mind.

Some Rastas claim that cannabis was the first plant to grow on King Solomon's grave.

The wearing of dreadlocks is very closely associated with the movement, though not compulsary. The length of a Rasta's locks is a measure of wisdom, maturity, and knowledge in that it can indicate not only the Rasta's age, but also his/her time as a Rasta. Rastafari associate dreadlocks with a spiritual journey that one takes in the process of locking their hair (growing hairlocks). It is taught that patience is the key to growing locks, a journey of the mind, soul and spirituality.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="387" caption="Rastaman in Barbados, wearing the Rastafarian colors of green, gold, red and black."][/caption]

The Rastafarian colors of green, gold and red are said to signify - red the blood of martyrs, green the vegetation and beauty of Ethiopia, and gold the wealth of Africa.

Music has long played an integral role in Rastafari history and Reggae is one of the forms associated with it. Reggae was born amidst poor blacks in Trenchtown, the main ghetto of Kingston, Jamaica.

That was a lot of reading and noting down. And this is maybe one-tenth of what was there. Read the whole article about Rastafari movement on Wikipedia.

Did you know that Rastafari had so much more to it that Bob Marley and dreadlocks? What do you think of the Rasta way of life?

Photo and Text Credit: Wikipedia and Chenthil

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Q for Quebec, Q for Quirky

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="415" caption="Photo Credit: Chenthil"][/caption]

I consider myself a quirky person, someone who is strange/not normal but cool or strikingly unconventional or as Google describes it 'having or characterized by peculiar or unexpected traits or aspects'.

But this post isn't about my quirkiness, it's about my quirks. As I was tossing words around for 'Q', I selected quirky and quiet but I didn't know what to write about each. Quirky seemed easier but then after some thought it started to sound like I was just so full of myself. So, I landed up thinking about my quirks. And I have so many of them, that even I don't know them all. Should ask Che sometime, he'll know all and more. :P

Without further a-do, here's a list of a few of my quirks -

• I always squeeze the toothpaste from the back.

• Then there's the seat, I always put it up after use. Oh, and wipe it down if it's wet.

• I will go back to double-check after a bath if I switched the lever back to tap or not. (that applies for the geyser switch too!)

• I will give the soap a bath if I find even a grain of sand on it.

• I wash my bathroom after a bath coz I can't stand finding stray hair.

• I am crazy particular about everything kept in it's place, even if the place is a right mess.

• I have to pee just before I get into bed at night, else I can't sleep.

• I love the combination of cheese and mango pickle in a sandwich. Ever tried it?

• I'll never go anywhere without a book.

• I pee just before I go out anywhere (drives Che crazy!).

• My handbag is almost a survival kit!

• I fiddle with my toe nails when I'm thinking.

I'm doing that right now as I racking my brains for more quirks... Our quirks make us who we are don't they, each person unique in their combination of quirks. Some quirks seem cute, some not so much, sometimes the same quirk that's cute in one person is down right irritating when another does it. Quirks make me smile though when I think of how stuck up I am sometimes, well mine made me laugh as I thought of them. Some of mine are just so silly.

What are your quirks? Do you share any of my quirks? Which is your most irritating quirk of all time?

P.S. - Che's doing a Project 365 with his new camera and the your's truly one up there was shot by him. You can see other photos from his project on his Tumblr page. :)

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P for Papa, P for Positive

Years ago (feels like it) when I was a kid in the 90's, way before brands, the big store in Bangalore was Kidskemp. Wearing a Kidskemp dress to school on your birthday was the in thing. I have a lot of memories of that place, we didn't shop much but we did a lot of window shopping. They used to have these special days with a fair atmosphere; there would be a lot games and activities that we enjoyed as kids, from caricature to mehendi, there was so much to do that we'd have fun filled evenings.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="My Bro and Me way back at Kidskemp"][/caption]

Here's a video from the movie Vishnu Vijaya (Kananda) / Ashaant (Hindi) which has a dance sequence at Kidskemp. FYI: Made in two languages it had Dr.Vishnuvardhan and Akshay Kumar in lead roles. Vishnu Vijaya was a hit and Ashaant was a flop.
All the characters in the song were in the store, how could kids not want to go to Kidskemp.



Back then in Bangalore there weren't all that many cars either. The IT boom was yet to happen and cars were still a family vehicle and a luxury. It was easier to remember cars you'd seen before. I remember seeing PMA written on a few cars that I came across often. The letters intrigued me, even more when I found out that those cars belong to the Kidskemp family.

One day I finally came across one car that helped but writing below in small print - Positive Mental Attitude. Reading that set off a strings of thoughts in my head, and I wondered of that was their secret to success, was it an organisation, a club? I tried to ask around but those were the days when we didn't have internet, so after a while the question got shelved as unanswered.

I'd forgotten all about it until I got thinking this morning about the word positive and what I would write about it, when I remembered the letters PMA and it all came flooding back. I couldn't find out then but now I have the 'internet' so here what I found out.

PMA isn't an organisation or club but rather PMA is recommended as an Attitude by RVM. Yeah, some more abbreviations. Some more digging and I figured out RVM stands for Ravi V Melwani, the man who owned the stores – Kids Kemp, Big Kids Kemp and Kemp Fort.

Over the years the Kidskemp and Kempfort craze dwindled (even the shops look sad today), it is now all about the big brands and so I thought the brands killed it but seems they weren't the only ones. RVM decided to move away from his retail business at the peak of his career. He switched tracks and moved to doing meaningful spiritual and humanitarian work.

Currently RVM is dedicating his life to spreading the RVM philosophy - Rejoice, Value life, Make a difference. RVM is many things but he is also a philosopher, poet, singer, speaker, motivator, author and philanthropist.

RVM seems to be doing a good job at what he's doing. He has a blog and a website and seems to be doing a lot of stuff, making a lot of money. His bio says he had a change of heart et all but it seems to me that RVM is smart, he got out of the retail business right on time and got into the next money spinner. Nothing wrong with a smart businessman and if PMA has worked for him all these years, I'd sure give it a try.

So the crux of the whole story - 'Positive' is my 'P' word of the year. :P

Photo Credits: geralt on Pixabay and my Papaji. :D

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O for Oscar, O for Orgasmic

Ushoo... I said the taboo word... :P Agreed orgasmic means 'able to achieve orgasm' but informally it also means 'very enjoyable'. As in an orgasmic new drink or orgasmic fresh strawberries. And I really would like this year to be orgasmic, not the the standard kind of way but the cool or different kind of way.

Let me explain... and what better example than condom companies? :P (one more ushoo...)

Almost all condom companies in India have similar advertisement; they all go for the 'condoms are seductive' approach where there there will be a man and a woman engaged in some form of foreplay (that just doesn't happen in real life, at least not all the time). There will be suggestive music and a complete theme of seduction. Considering it's India we're talking about, nothing much is shown, it's all just suggested. (I guess we should be thankful that we've moved on from the roses bumping into each other era.) :D

However one company does things differently. The first time I ever noticed a Durex ad was about 10 years ago when I came across this.



Oh man, I laughed my guts out.

Then a week back, Che showed me this.



It's pretty cool isn't it! Now I have Do-The-Rex on constant rerun in my head, and since it's Ranveer Singh, it's got visuals too. :D

BTW this ad led to Rituparna Chatterjee asking the question "Where's the condom ad for normal, bloated, bored women with no nights out, kids and very little time and energy to 'Do The Rex'?".  Someday I would like to see a condom ad with a woman in the central role, and Durex being Durex, just might pull it off!

Durex does things differently; even in their advertisement. Where other companies are striving to make condoms sexy, Durex makes condoms cool and smart. Here's some more Durex ads to make you smile. :)

I really like the baby-seat and football team ads, which ones did you like?

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N for November, N for Nature

I've always wanted to have a garden, not the pretty kind but the edible kind. :) Growing up we had a garden for a few years but those were my college years, who wanted to garden then. Later over the years I never had garden space, until now. Our new house has a little garden along one side of the house and I've enjoyed watering, working and watching it the last few months.

I've already had so many cool things happen because of the garden, that I figured I'd make a list of until now along with my wish list of stuff to do. Ok, lets get the want to do over with, coz that's simple - This year I want to learn more about gardening, plants, and the birds and animals I see around here. And some of this I have plans for, for the rest there is YouTube so it's all under-control. :D

Now on to the highlights of the last four months, I figured photos would work well here. Hope you enjoy it. :)

The garden in full spring bloom...

There were so many flowers I didn't take photos of, why, [hitting my head] I have no idea; but here are some that I did get -

And I've seen fruits galore too, I forgot to click the drumsticks and you saw the Singapore Cherries yesterday. Here are the others until now -

The garden's brought in creatures galore too. From rats to bats and a large variety of lizards -

Not to forget the Spectacled Cobra we caught the other day :D

The latest news is we've got a nest now. I saw it first on Monday and today I found a egg. :) Seems to belong to either robins or bulbuls, need to watch out for the birds.



After the snake incident I've taken to having the dogs around when I'm watering the garden, but here's what happens on some days while there are still muddy puddles... :P (Thankfully Max loves being hosed down)

I've been enjoying the garden, it's a bit of work watering it everyday but it has something new for me to see every day. Can't wait to get my hands dirty in there over the next few months.

Do you have a garden? Love gardening? Which is your go to place for gardening advise?

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