Disclaimer: this article is shit, is about shit and everything shit, so if you are not into shit or eating at the moment, don't read further.
For 29 years of my life the only poop I knew intimately was my own, then the dogs came along. Now I am a professional Poop Inspector and Investigator along with being an expert Poop Hunter and Collector. That's a lot of titles so let me explain them.
Poop Hunter
Each of the dogs have their poop zones, their favourite spots, but sometimes I think the pressure comes on suddenly or they decide to set up a treasure hunt and then the shit could be anywhere. Even in the middle of the hall!
Poop Inspector
Having six dogs means somewhere between 6 to 12 piles of shit. As a well experienced, researched and studied Inspector I can tell whose shit is whose at a distance mostly. By close-up inspection my guess would be right 95% of the time. :D
Poop Investigator
Identifying poop is just half the battle, the second half involves observing, identifying and tabulating what the turd indicates. Special points are given on finding bone shards, coloured nylon chewie shavings, balls of hair, fur and grass. Thankfully I've not found anything else, yet.
Poop Collector
Poop comes in various states - dry and crumbling, dry and firm, wet and sticky, soft and gooey, liquid gel. The dry and firm variety is the simplest and easiest to pick up. It comes clean of the ground. All the others need a little ingenuity, experience and skill before the art is perfected.
Why is Shit so Important?
Shit holds a lot of secrets. I'm not kidding, it's true you know. Your poop can tell you a lot about your body and health. It's colour, consistency, ease of passing and smell are indicators of many a thing. Looking at poop can tell you about excess vitamins, malnourishment, bleeding, infections, and much more.
I started out a novice, but in the last six years of picking up poop, it's amazing how much I have learned about and from SHIT!
P.S. – Day Twenty-One of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge.
I came to this blog for reading your article on money plant. Then I came across the topic "The Poop Queen" . Reading this was gross and made me puke several times, but you have presented this shit inspection in a funny manner. Looking forward for more shitty stuff !!! ;-)
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by Mike :)
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